On the Bright Side
by An Ordinary Riceball
Summary: Temptation led to a failed attempt at suicide, and Kururi and Izaya are there to try to pick up the pieces, but maybe the possibility of a better future, would be waiting for them along the way. Maybe, through this experience, Izaya would be able to realize the true impact his sisters actually have on him, and what he would be without them. Or, maybe, become more distant? TW
1. Chapter 1

_**Story: On the Bright Side**_

 _ **Summary:**_ ** _Temptation led to a failed attempt at suicide, and Kururi and Izaya are there to try to pick up the pieces, but maybe the possibility of a better future, would be waiting for them along the way. Maybe, through this experience, Izaya would be able to realize the true impact his sisters actually have on him, and what he would be without them. Or, maybe, become more distant? KururixMairu TW_**

 _ **Based on some of my own personal experiences.**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara!**_

 _ **Relationships: KururixMairu/MairuxKururi, KururixAoba(one sided) The light novels did say Kururi liked him, but I don't really think it's requeited(but do let me know if it is), and Mairu loves Kururi a lot), IzayaxKururixMairu, ShinraxCelty, and other possible, but minor, canon pairings, and friendships, Aoba included.**_

 _ **I'm not a huge expert on the light novels, but in the anime, I couldn't help but notice this. First, Mairu kissed Kururi, then Kururi kissed Mairu, and then Kururi kissed Aoba, then Mairu kissed Aoba(likely just because Kururi had just done so). My conclusion was the Mairu sort of felt her worthiness of being with Kururi deducting, or something like that.**_

 _ **This story will not be all about love, but some of it will. However the majority of the story will be about the role Izaya will be playing as a brother.**_

 _ **Please note that it may look like Mairu is only caring about her love for Kururi at first, but there are far more underlying issues that will come to light in the future.**_

* * *

Orihara Kururi and Orihara Mairu had always cared for their brother, Orihara Izaya, but they just didn't express it in a normal way because of the way he always distanced himself from them. Above all, they just wanted him to acknowledge them, because nobody else really did, either. Perhaps, that was why Kururi had seemed to have fallen in a likely unrequited love with Kuronuma Aoba, was because he was very similar to their own brother, but would still be there to acknowledge them. Though there had likely been more to it than that, that was what Mairu got from it, and what she had read.

She had never particularly minded the thought of Kururi falling in love with someone other than her, but she had always been terrified of being left behind and forgotten by her, because of the fact that her brother was never there, and their parents always being absent, Kururi was the only constant she had and the only person she trusted. Without her, Mairu was nothing. They were suppose to make up for each others' flaws. Contrary to belief, Mairu was actually the weaker and more vulnerable one.

However, she admired and loved Kururi and wanted to 'stay strong' because she wanted to be just like her.

Contrary to belief, Mairu was, in reality, the less social one, and was actually depressed a lot of the time, down deep, but being with Kururi had always sort of put a light to things and made her feel better.

Beside of that, unlike Izaya, she hated humanity. It disgusted her. Of course, her brother, Kasuka Heiwajima, Aoba, Mikado, Shizuo, the so-called Headless Rider AKA "Celty", and Kururi were some of the only exceptions, but the only ones who sincerely looked back every time were Kururi and Aoba, and she was happy to feel like she was a part of something for a change, which was also why she had always felt such an attachment to their chatroom. In fact, that was the only time her completely true personality came out; it was when she was online, even though her and Kururi supposedly 'switched' personalities there. What and how much people saw her type on there was who she truly was, even though sometimes, she was just saying so much just to keep things going because it was kind of like her family.

For a long time, however, she had been having 'darker thoughts than normal' that she'd kept trying to push away and ignore, because she had to stay strong all for Kururi. She wanted her acknowledgement and praise. She wanted to give Kururi a reason to love her back even if love typically had no reason.

She didn't deserve to be loved; she was aware of that, but she loved Kururi and wanted to be loved no matter the reason. It hurt to think that she might be able move on without her, so she just tried to immerse herself in the moment as much as possible.

However, that didn't stop the thoughts and temptation from eventually once again managing to take over, no matter how much she had kept trying to fight it away before.

"Mairu...? Are you feeling alright...? You've been in there for a while." Mairu jumped as she heard Kururi's voice outside the bathroom door.

"Kuru-nee! Y-yeah! I'll be out in a minute...!" she had been lost in a trance, and was holding a razor to her wrist. She didn't want to hurt herself, but had heard about it, and had started having temptations to just try it.

 _"Would it really be that bad if I did...? But it would only leave scars afterward. I'm afraid of her noticing and asking about it... If she did, what would I even say? I keep thinking I could hide it if I did, but..."_

"Hey, Kuru-nee, are you still out there?" she asked, after a minute.

"Yeah...," came the response. "what is it?"

Kururi thought about a question for a moment, but couldn't bring herself to ask it in the end. She was honestly afraid of being judged.

"...Nothing. I was just wondering."

 _"What would she do if I was gone...? She'd probably just be able to move on, right...? Why does it hurt so bad?"_

A sob had almost escaped her.

...

"Kuru-nee! I love you!" Mairu shouted, jumping over and hugging Kururi. "I really do mean it."

"I love you, too," Kururi said, flipping through the messages on her phone in the current chatroom session "but you don't have to be so loud about it, do you?"

"Sorry, I guess just really wanted to say it! You know?" Mairu said, suddenly quiet.

 _"I know she's saying that because doesn't want me yelling, but it feels like she's afraid of someone hearing... I feel so bad to think that way. She would probably think I was selfish if she knew. Hell, I am kind of selfish, though, aren't I? Oh well... It's not like I can just change that."_

These were her thoughts, as her tears had one again resurfaced at the thought, and she barely managed to forced them back.

"Hey, Kuru-nee!" Mairu smiled, laying her head on Kururi's lap.

"Hm...?" The other looked down at her, their brown eyes meeting.

"What would you do if I left?" She forced herself to ask the question which she'd tried to ask over and over again, but had finally been 'courageous' enough to just ask.

"Well, you're not planning to leave, are you?"

"No, I mean if I was _gone._ "

"Gone? Why are you asking? I don't you want you die, if that's what you're asking..."

Mairu's chest clenched again, as she tried to swallow back the lump in her throat.

"What I'm asking is, if I happened to die, would you really be sad?"

"I..." Kururi obviously hadn't expected her to ask that, but she knew Kururi had likely noticed her strange clingy behavior as of late, so Mairu just decided to put two and two together. "I truly don't want you to die before me, so if you did pass away, I would be very sad, yes, Mairu... Love you a lot... Have you been sick or anything...?"

" _Daijoubu, Kuru-nee!_ Hahaha! Don't worry. I want you to be happy, so I won't let anyone take me. I would never want you to feel like it was your fault. But... can you promise me something...?" Mairu felt the tears yet again rise to her eyes, only, this time, she couldn't stop them.

"What is it...?" Kururi asked, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Mairu forced a smile. "If... If I did die, promise that me you won't cry, Kuru-nee. Promise me that you'll always keep smiling for me, won't you?"

"...hypocrite. _You're_ not doing either of those... Fake..." Kururi said softly, rubbing her tears away.

"Well, we make up for each others' flaws, so one of us has to do it..., right? I'm sorry for being so weak. I can't stop..." Mairu choked, rubbing Kururi's hands away, as she wiped her eyes and tears.

"You don't have to... Just cry if it hurts..." Kururi told her, leaning down and kissing her on the lips.

She didn't deserve it, but she wanted it, and, even if Kururi was using her, she would always be okay with it, as long as Kururi was.

But she knew Kururi wasn't like that, so who did she like more? Her or Aoba? To be honest, she felt completely horrible for questioning it, but she couldn't stop acting so childish no matter how much she cursed herself for it.

"Kuru-nee," she uttered, having calmed down a little, as their lips departed. Reaching up to place a hand Kururi's chest. "if you don't want me to be with you, I can understand. You like Aoba, ne?"

"Hm," Kururi confirmed. "but I still like Mairu more."

She didn't deserve this at all.

She swallowed, utterly failing for the first time to push back her feelings. "I'm sorry."

...

"What have I done...? I'm not bleeding enough. I must have to bleed more, right? It's suppose to make me feel better, right? Screw the people who says this helps... It can't cure anything..., but... what if I happened to go deeper...? Will it make me feel better, then? I have to find out... Screw it... I must really deserve to be all cut up, after all, huh?"

The younger twin had finally snapped and done it. She had to openly admit that she had, by definition, went "way too far" and had found no relief in doing it either. But at the least, it had distracted her from her hatred of her body image, her depression, and her thoughts of her weakness and everything else, she guessed. She didn't have to be sad at the moment. She could just focus on the pain.

 _"Who knows? Maybe it'll just take away everything? Surely... Kururi... would be able to move on, right? Oh, yeah..., that's right! After this, if I die, everything will be gone, me included. That's what Iza-nii said, right...?"_

Maybe she was bleeding more than she thought, but she didn't even care at the slightest anymore. She was feeling really light headed now, and her vision had became too foggy to really make anything out.

"Kuru..." she muttered, hearing a vague familiar voice calling her name, and then a small knock, and that was the last thing she could have possibly remembered before she passed out.

...

The last time that the illegal information dealer of Shinjuku, Orihara Izaya, and the illegal underground doctor who was well known throughout Ikebukuro and Shinjuku as well as a highly regarded surgeon sometimes working for the Yakuza, Kishitani Shinra, had spoke in person, or at least seen each other, had been at least a few months. Whenever they did, it was typically because Izaya had been injured in one of his many fights with his mortal rival and enemy, Heiwajima Shizuo.

"Orihara-kun, wow, you really did it to Shizuo-kun this time, didn't you?"

"You're thoroughly mistaken, my dear friend. I did nothing at all to him, Shinra. He just came an attacked me suddenly, and for once, I was taken by surprise. I honestly didn't expect him to not use some vending machine or street sign~"

"Let me guess. He accidentally threw you in front of a car or into a window." Shinra filled in the blanks, likely judging from the many sharps of glass sticking out of the informant's body.

"Nope~! It was actually an eighteen wheeler, and I don't know what you mean by an "accident", for he's too much of a monster to acknowledge such a mistake, ne? Anyway, are you going to fix me or not?" Izaya deadpanned.

"...Yeah," Shinra gestured his hands a bit. "come on. I'm only helping you, though, because that is what My Honey Celty would want me to do for you, and also because you're paying me. It _is_ my job, after all."

"I have said it before, but who in the world would ever want a friend like _you~?_ Not-" before Izaya was able to finish his sentence, one of his many cell phones had begun ringing in his pockets.

Putting it to his ear, he answered it without thinking about who it could have possibly been. "Hello~?"

However, after the person on the other end had obviously spoke, Shinra guessed who it was just be seeing Izaya's face contort a bit.

"Oh, it's only you, Kururi. Sorry, I'm busy. Talk to you later~"

And he hung up.

"Now, as I was saying-"

Only for her to call him back yet again.

"Kururi, I said I'm busy. I can't deal with you or Mairu right now. Good bye~!"

 _Beep_.

"You really don't like your sisters, do you?" Shinra suddenly asked him, to which Izaya just sneered, rolling his eyes.

"Why should I? They're always bothering when I tell them to leave me alone. No, I _don't_ 'like' them, Shinra. I-" Izaya started to say, but was once again utterly cut off by his 'annoying' phone.

 _Ring. Ring. Ring._

 _"Damn it, I told you to stop calling me, Kururi. This is a business number, yet you're calling me, even though I'm sure you have no important business to call me for, so STOP."_ He hissed, hanging up once more, now glaring at the device in his hand.

" _As I was saying,_ I _don't-_ "

 _Ring. Ring. Ring._

Izaya immediately glared daggers at Shinra when the doctor had burst out laughing at how persistent his sisters evidently were.

"It's too bad that you can't just turn off your phone, huh, Izaya?" Shinra smirking, earning a hand in his face.

"I hope you die." growled Izaya, utterly irritated and humiliated for some reason unknown. He sighed, finally answering the phone, despite the pain he was currently in.

"...Okay, will you _please_ stop calling here and irritating me, already? What is it, already, my _dear_ sister?"

"...This is Shiki."

 _"Wow, that's loud. What in the world. Did I press the speaker?"_

" _Sh-Shiki..._ _Shit_. Shiki-san, please forgive me for my rudeness, will you~? I didn't even realize it was my dear ol' friend from the loving Awakusu-kai, ne?" Despite how 'friendly' his tone sounded, he hadn't stopped glaring at Shinra for a second, and, in fact, was currently unknowingly contemplating how he might possibly be able to get around getting killed by a certain dullahan if he just happened to 'accidentally' choke Shinra right here and now.

"...I see. If you get a chance, I would like for you to inform Kishitani-san than we need to speak with him if he gets a chance," Shiki requested. "because our men can't get up with him."

"Ah, what a coincidence~ He's right here next to me, ne~?" Izaya smirked. noticing Shinra smiling nervously.

"He is? I see, but first, you _do_ have Caller ID, don't you?"

"Ah~ But, sometimes, even Gods like myself do stupid things, ne? Anyway, here he is~"

"O-Orihara-kun, hey! I-!"

"Take it!" Izaya snapped lowly.

"Fine fine. Hello, Shiki-o-dana. How are you today?" Shinra inquired, walking off a bit, giving Izaya a bit of a side-glare momentarily.

But Izaya was no longer even paying attention to him.

 _"Damn it, that was the worst excuse for an explanation ever. Who could that be calling?"_ Wondered Izaya. _A_ nother one of his many cell phones had begun ringing in pocket, as he could feel it vibrating.

Checking the caller ID, he discovered that it was either Kururi or Mairu. How many of his numbers did they even have? No point in not replying anymore, he reluctantly and spitefully guessed.

So he just picked up, and before he even had the chance to say anything, Kururi had started shouting at him. "COME TO THE HOUSE! SOMETHING ISN'T RIGHT!"

"What are you talking about? I-" Izaya was practically speechless for a moment, taken off guard by the fact that Kururi, who was usually extremely quiet, was yelling at someone for a change. More so, at himself.

"I don't care if you have a job or not, you're our brother as well! The bathroom door is locked or barricaded, one, I can't get in and Mairu is not saying anything at all! Don't you ever care to listen?! I'm sorry, I'm worried, is all... I..."

"Fine, I'll be there, shortly..." he sighed, not particularly liking the feeling of unexpected fear sitting in. Mairu was obviously absolutely fine, as they were probably just trying to play some stupid personality switching game to trick him, but he decided he needed to go, anyway, in case they had done something or another... "Ugh, I don't really get what's going on..."

"Where are you-?" Shinra started to asked.

"No where in particular. Well, Kururi sounds rather worried about the bathroom door at my old house or something like that~ See you later, Shinra~! Hope you die before then, though, ne?"

"I highly doubt that'll happen~ I have Celty to protect me~! Poor guy! You don't have anybody to protect _you_ , do you, Izaya?!"

At that, said information dealer flipped the bird, and left, making his way to the house which his parents owned in Ikebukuro of which he never wished to stay at anymore. Sure, he sometimes bought them food and toiletries and stuff, and brought them there when the twins were gone, but other than that, he tried to avoid that house all together.

No reason. He just didn't like it.

And by 'no reason', he meant that there was no reason he could directly pinpoint because there were just too many, and it was plain annoying to think about. Therefore, he wouldn't.

...

As soon as he arrived at the dreaded place, and came in, Kururi was already dragging him to the bathroom, visible tears brimming in her eyes.

"Look, I-"

Kururi said nothing, and Izaya suddenly didn't know to say himself. He turned to the door.

" _Sigh... Fine._ Mairu? Are you in there?"

No reply. _Great_. Why was he feeling so awkward suddenly?

"If you don't answer or open the door, I'm gonna kick it open, you know~ I really don't have time for this."

Once again, no reply.

The raven swallowed.

"Look, I don't like to snoop in on people in any bathroom, but Kururi insists that I go in, so, um..., sorry~" Izaya hesitantly chimed, kicking the door at full force.

Once.

Then twice.

And it opened, ripping part of the wall off with it.

"I-" Izaya froze.

"Mairu...?" Kururi approached.

 _"...What? What in the world happened? Why the hell did she-"_ There was blood everywhere, and in the empty bathtub, Mairu sat unconscious. Her arms... and her body..., it was all covered in crimson, and multiple lacerations and several puncture wounds. He was suddenly nauseous, and he didn't know what to think at all, as his mind was spiraling in several different sudden directions. "How long has she been in here...?"

Kururi looked back at him.

"She's been in here at least an hour. I've been calling her and trying to push open the door for about thirty minutes..." She said.

"I'm going to call an ambulance. Why didn't you call somebody before now?! If you thought she was dying or something-!"

Kururi edged back in fear at his tone, but glared at him then. "As if you're any better?! How would I have known she wasn't playing some kind of trick and wanted one of us to break in here?! She would have got in a lot of trouble and I'm couldn't allow something like to happen!"

"I-" Izaya stiffened in realization, before turning around about "whatever, I'm calling them."

Dialing the 119 on his phone, he waited for someone to pick up.

"This is 119. What is your emergency?"

"Yes, I'd like to... um... request an ambulance." He said, bending down to check her shredded wrist for a possible pulse. "I just found my younger sister unconscious and covered in cuts and blood, and I don't really know what to do. She still has a pulse, but it seems kind of weak, um-"

"Where do you live?"

"Um... um..." Shit. What was it again? Why couldn't he think straight, damn it?! " _Calm down!_ "

 _"Sir? Are you alright...?"_

"Yes, I'm-"

"Sorry, he's just really stressed." Kururi said, taking the phone, and giving them the correct address. He'd been away from there for so long he hadn't even cared to remember it. It wasn't that he didn't, once again, but he just wasn't thinking straight.

"Yes... I'm her older twin sister... Orihara Mairu... Uh-huh... I understand... Thank you..." Kururi mused on the phone, before finally hanging up, and looking at Izaya. "...They're coming out."

Izaya then let out a shaky breath. "I see..."

* * *

 _ **A/N: What do you think? I want to know and need to know that this isn't awful, and that someone out there is listening to me. You have no idea how much it means. I'll try to update when I can, ne? However, I may not if nobody's listening. ^^**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**Story: On the Bright Side, Chapter 2**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara!**_

 _ **...**_

 _Machines beeping._

Those were first things that registered into Mairu's senses within her drowsy state as she woke up, and she knew she was in a hospital. She may have been drugged, because she did sort of feel relaxed.

 _"Why am I he-"_

She had started to ask the question in her mind, but then she recalled everything.

She knew exactly why she was here.

 _"...I survived. Kururi must have called somebody, then..."_

She wanted to open her eyes, but something that stopped her, and she began to get anxious. What expressions were waiting for her? She had done something really stupid and she knew that, but she didn't want to face anybody right now, nor have to answer their questions on why she had done it.

She couldn't bare the thought of their pity filled glances. Was somebody sitting there next to her? Was Kururi there? Aoba? Mikado or somebody else? How would she face any of them? How _could_ she?

"'Did I really cut my body to pieces to try to kill myself? But why? They'll ask me that, but whether I know why or not I don't know how to explain what happened, nor why it came down to what it did. How do I face whoever is sitting there, if anybody is, when I don't even know how to face myself?'" Those words summed up her exact thoughts and feelings at the moment, but somebody else had said them. And not just _anybody_ , but rather, they had came out of the very mouth of the last person she thought she would have heard from or would expect to be there right now. "That's what you're thinking right now, isn't it, Mairu?"

"...Iza-nii, why are you here?" She decidedly opened up her eyes somewhat to see her brother sitting there next to her stretcher. The lights in the room had been dimmed down a bit. An IV was hooked into her arm giving her fluids, and bandages were covering her arms.

Izaya was neither smiling nor frowning.

"Well, if you hadn't realized, I _am technically_ your guardian, after all." he said sarcastically, and a bit bitterly. _Even if I'm not a very good one._

"Where's Kuru-nee?" Mairu asked, slowly sitting up, partially trying to deflect the conversation, feeling uncomfortable. Izaya probably knew her intentions and side glanced at her briefly before looking away again.

"She wanted to give you space." He said simply.

Mairu grew silent, looking down at her bandages. _"Is she disappointed in me? I can't believe I did something like that..."_

"That was a lie, you know. The truth is that they wouldn't allow her back here because she's underage. They want to wait a little bit before they can decide if it's okay for others that are not her guardian to see her." Izaya admitted suddenly.

 _((A/N: Please note that I don't know the hospital rules work in Japan, but I'm sorta going from personal experience here, along with some of the stuff I've read. If anybody wants to share information on Japanese hospitals, please, be my guest. It'd help a lot. Even little details. I have heard that the mental health system in Japan sucks though, especially for native Japanese.))_

Mairu didn't know what to say after that, but felt a bit of relief yet undeniable guilt in her stomach, still. Kururi still wanted to see her after what she'd done?

"Oh, _man_ , you should have seen their faces, though, Mairu." Izaya snickered. "It took three security guards to hold her down...! When they told her she couldn't go back to see you, she ran past them after using pepper spray on several people, and even punched one of them... She had to be restrained, though it's a wonder she wasn't taken back herself. _Man_ , I've honestly never seen her get like that. That girl is a little too unpredictable _even for me_ sometimes~" Izaya suddenly added, chuckling a bit. He glanced out the door when he said this, a somehow amused looked on his face. But in his eyes there lied a far off look that was unexplained.

"I thought you liked things that are unpredictable."

"True, but what I really like even more is when humans still listen to reason to at least a certain degree simultaneously."

To be honest, neither one of them expected this conversation to come by as easy as what it even was, especially Izaya. It was different than any conversation they had had before, and it was like words were flowing right out, despite a large amount of previous doubts he had had before that.

"...'ve said it before... she's actually the more assertive one and she can be the far more aggressive one when she's desperate enough or isn't in the right state of mind..." Mairu muttered beneath her breath, avoiding his gaze. Anybody else would have scolded or gotten mad at Izaya for laughing at the event like he had, but Mairu knew it was just Izaya being Izaya, and that he was likely trying to regulate the mood in his own way. Because Mairu could feel it; could see it his hidden expression, that down deep, this wasn't anymore comfortable of a situation for Izaya than it was for her.

Izaya honestly didn't want to know the actual extent of those implied experiences with that side of Kururi, so he just stuck with stating his own experience.

"I think you ought to add _persistent-as-hell_ to that list." Izaya stated sardonically. "Earlier, she called me four times before I finally gave in and listened to what she had to say. Not that I have any complaints now or anything, I suppose, knowing that it was a real emergency..." Izaya skeptically glanced towards Mairu, who pulled her knees up to her chest though albeit careful not to mess up her IV.

Mairu let her bangs shadow her eyes, not responding, and just accepting whatever Izaya had to say. She didn't care to argue or defend herself right now. Not that her impulsive actions had a true excuse.

"This afternoon, that _barbarian **brute**_ Shizu-chan threw me through the window of one of those big rigs, which.. eh... _wasn't_ _a very pleasant experience_ , to be completely honest... I'm rather lucky that the truck was parked, because if it had been moving, that could have ended up pretty badly, you know. Well anyway... Because of that, I went to Shinra's to have him take care of any remaining glass shards still sticking in my body."

Mairu seemed to flinch and tense up at the mention of the bespectacled doctor, and squeezed her wrist, though not hard enough to draw blood, but enough to cause her knuckles to turn white, and nonetheless catch Izaya's attention.

"When Kururi called, I thought you two were playing some kind of twisted prank or something on me. Ah..." His eyebrows knitted, as an odd solicitous expression that none would usually have the chance to see from him appeared on Izaya's face, clear as day, as he looked up at the ceiling, showing that he was undeniably _human_ in at least that brief moment; it was a side of himself he usually tried to hide from others. He placed his hand over his face, unable to control the broken laughter that bubbled up his throat, tears stubbornly clinging to his eyes. "Really, who knew I'd find my baby sister... like _that_...? Well, it's not like I shouldn't have expected as much, considering the story of the boy who cried wolf, and all. How the hell was I supposed to know that you had been considering something that...?"

Izaya had only mentioned the boy who cried wolf, knowing there wasn't much relation, in an attempt to encourage Mairu to argue like she always did or show some kind of sign of feeling _alive_.

At seeing her brother showing this much weakness, and hearing his broken words, however, Mairu felt suffocated, because not only did the sight of her big brother falling apart like this depress her, it also scared her and made her feel more anxious than ever.

Realizing she was the one who caused all of this mess, Mairu began to scratch at her wrist. She wasn't drawing blood, but it still made Izaya feel uncomfortable.

Mairu avoided his gaze. "Who brought me here...?"

This was still honestly a bit unnerving to Izaya, because he wasn't used to speaking with either of his twin sisters on a neutral level, but since she wasn't arguing back or make some snarky remarks as would be expected of her, he couldn't help but feel awkward, like he was expecting something to happen with never would.

But... could he have also somehow felt... relieved?

Lest be said, Orihara Izaya was not good at connecting with people or making people feel good. He did things in cruel ways that often made them hate him, but might or might not help them in the long run.

Such as the high school student Rio Kamichika, who he had went to meet up because she said she wanted to die after he offered it. He had showed her the hard way that she didn't actually want to die, and told her that she'd just be a stain on a pavement if she did that. After that, he'd said he didn't care about her problems, because he felt like he was leaving the rest up to her to make her decision of whether she wanted to live or die or not, because the only one who can save oneself is themselves. Not only had she dismissed his good and previous advice and the truth of the matter which said suicide would accomplish nothing, she had then taken his taunts to heart and tried to spite him and prove him wrong.

Honestly, he still didn't understand what drove people who had a phone, roof over their head, clothes, a loving family, and everything else to their disposal, to commit suicide. What went their heads? How was it satisfying at that end knowing that even though they wouldn't be able to experiance suffering anymore, they would be able to experiance happiness even less if they died earlier than what they were suppose to.

He didn't understand, no, but that didn't mean he wouldn't try. He would try and would always try to understand humanity more because he love all humans with everything he had, even if his love just so happened to break them.

"Stop doing that." Izaya suddenly told her, taking even himself by surprise by the command. Mairu seemed taken aback as well and stopped scratching her wrist as was asked. "and it was me. I told you Kururi called me, but it was only because the bathroom door was locked and she couldn't get in. I had to come back to your house and kicked the bathroom door in. And I then called an ambulance after finding you unconscious. You sure had Kururi worried."

Mairu didn't need to ask for him to explain further, because it was fairly easy for her to fill in the blanks, but only for the parts regarding Kururi. In some ways she could never understand her brother. And in a way, she knew that both she and Kururi detested humanity for that.

Because their brother had became so distant from them because of his 'love' for it. Even if it had only gotten as bad as it had when he met Shizuo and even before that, after he had gotten in middle school, that "love" had always been there and they knew it.

She could never forgive it, and at the same time, she didn't know about Kururi considering she rarely ever mentioned Izaya, but in a way, she could never stand Izaya and the way he distanced himself from them.

Although, with that said, they somehow both had always greatly admired him, and wanted to be like him and for him to praise them, just like he had done to "his humans".

They acted like they didn't care because over time it had became a habit and obsession to act so cold to him and even other people just like he had done so. One of the biggest reasons they acted the way they did was simply all because they wanted his acknowledgement. And splitting personalities only made that easier. But the question was:

Had he ever really looked back at them since?

No.

He only ever got farther away.

And she hated it.

Kururi obviously didn't hate it as much as she did, but that was fine, because smiling off their pain, hating the world, and negative things like that, was Orihara Mairu's role to fill. Kururi was suppose to be the truely happy and content one, and truth be told she was willing to give every ounce of her happiness up so long as her older twin sister could be happy and stay happy.

But then the thought dawned on her. _"So much for that. Guess I'm causing her suffering, after all... and Iza-nii as well."_

"Hey, Mairu..., when did you notice everything change?" Izaya suddenly asked, knowing that the nurses would be in here very soon and notice she was awake.

"...Back when you were in middle school, I think... something in you just suddenly changed... Why? Did it all have something to do with when you stabbed Kishitani-san?"

"So you heard about that?"

"I hear a lot. You aren't the only one good at observing humanity, you see? That's all I'm going to say."

"Very well. That's fine by me. Anyway, I'll tell you about that some other time, after you get out here."

 _"If you do..."_ added Izaya in his mind, looking at her briefly.

"Guess I have one thing to look forward to, then." Said Mairu.

 _"Yeah, one good thing against several hundered bad things..."_ her mind deadpanned.

Both of them had doubts, and both were aware of the looks in the other's eyes. Both also knew the other was troubled by their thoughts and that the other was certainly dealing with things, and inner problems and current happenings, so neither said anything more, until a nurse had finally came in.

 _"Wonder how long I'll be here? Guess I'll just have to wait it out, huh?"_

 _~ End of Chapter_

 _..._

 _ **A/N: I hope this is good. Sorry it wasn't a lot, but I've been kind of busy T^T. I might would have eventually made this have a bit of Oriharacest, but I feel like there would be too many objections to it, so unless there are no objections to all that(please comment and let me know) I'll just keep KururixMairu and keep Izaya's odd relationship with his sisters as it is sort of...?**_

 _ **My relationship between my brother at times is a little more like Izaya's and Shizuo's, but I had a bad happening a couple months ago and while their are a lot of differences, the awkardness between us reminds me a bit of the Orihara Siblings', but I think this will turn out different. (Personally, I'm also glad he's not all that interested in fanfiction and isn't reading this story xD) Though he does like anime and manga, expecially Bleach, Tokyou Ghoul and DGM, Magi, Noragami, and he likes Durarara! As well. And it's all thanks to me XD**_

 _ **Replies to Reviews:**_

 _ **To Guest(the first one): I'm glad you think so. ^^ And I agree. I think Mairu, Kururi and Izaya are all very interesting and I really wish that Narita would have given us a bit more background on their relationship instead of giving us little hints and tadbits of things here and there even in the novels. (The anime honestly did Mairu and Kururi some less justice, even though the anime is awesome there's still stuff that they should have had.) Some of the scenes with those two in the novels were beyond interesting.) And there's no need to apologize. I like the logic, because I think it can be cute as well. xD and personally, there honestly aren't enough fanfiction with them on here, either way you look at it.**_

 _ **To unknown: I'm glad you liked it! And Shizuo**_ **will** _ **be showing up, and I do plan to have him included, definitely for that reason, considering Kasuka isn't really that good at expressing emotions thanks to Shizuo's influences. I hope this chapter was good ^^**_

 _ **To DrowingInTheHourglass: You really think so? I'm glad to hear that! Thank you for reading my stories! It means a lot. X3**_

 _ **To BurningSoup1: Here it was. Hope you still liked it so far. ^^**_

 _ **To Guest(the second one):**_

 _ **I just want to see that as well. Izaya isn't a very nice guy at times... and I think he knows that. And I also feel kind of bad for Kururi... I just want everybody to be happy! T^T**_

 _ **To Mizu Ryujin: Guess I do. T^T**_

 _ **To Llallallamass: I'm glad you think so! I hope you're keep reading!**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**Story: On the Bright Side, Chapter 3**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara!**_

...

The first thing Kururi had done when they told her she couldn't go back and see Mairu was lost it. After all the stress had been building up she didn't know how to deal with it.

But then, after all she did, Izaya surprised her by actually smiling a bit, patting her on the head, and even telling her, "Don't worry. I'm sure Mairu's going to be okay, Kururi, so I'll go back to see her now, okay? I'll let her know you're worried."

Whether it was a show for the nurses or not she did not know, but it was somewhat reassuring at the least to hear him talk with such a gentleness she and Mairu both knew he had always down deep. But she still didn't even know if she could trust him or his smile. But she didn't voice her apprehension.

Some older-aged woman had approached her after that, sitting next to her on the couch in the waiting room. Apparently she'd seen what happened between her and the nurses and her brother. She actually expected to be scolded for "not respected her elders" or something, but relaxed when she wasn't.

"You must really be close to your sister, huh, miss? What's your name?" The woman asked.

"Kururi." The girl replied sort of shyly.

"Where are your parents?"

"Absent..." she mumbled.

"Oh? Is Orihara-san your brother, then? You look a lot like him."

"Mhm. Older brother." She answered the womans inquiries, gazing away.

"...He's not around much... We don't get along that well."

"Hmm..., my father passed away when I was about 12," Kururi looked up as the older lady said this, "and my mother was left to take care of us. She was always suffering with illness though, and kept getting sicker, but after my father was gone, it seemed like it she'd just began to give up her will to even live. My older brother and I started to grow more distant and I started to resent him because it appeared like he was so often just smilng even in a time like that. Then one day, mama got so sick to the point where she wasn't even in the right mind anymore, and we couldn't communicate verbally with her anymore and my older brother was finally at the legal age to take care of me and started to work. He wasn't around much after that, and always acted like he didn't care, but late one night, I woke up with an especially bad headache and was heading to the bathroom to get some medicine when I passed by the room our father used to stay in. And Hinako-niisan was in there. I quickly figured out he was talking to himself as if praying in a way and you know? I'll never forget what he said that day. He was sitting in front of papa's picture frame and actually looked to it saying to it;

 _"I swear I don't know what to do, anymore. I only keep smiling because it's all I feel I can do without breaking down. If I want Chiyo to be strong enough to handle it, then I have to handle it myself and set the example. And she obviously is trying to deal with this the best she can as well, so I understand why she would hate me, but even if Chiyo ran away or did something drastic, I know I wouldn't even have a right to stop her, since I'm not all that good at showing her that I do care, and I'm not around that much. I only ever say things that make her more mad at me. I keep telling her that things happen and that people die, and that people come and go and that there's nothing we can do about it, and that mama and you would want her to remain strong. That's there no use in crying. But that's only because I can't stand to see her suffering even though she probably is anyway, and I can't even find my hope myself now. I'm not good at protecting her and I don't know how to show her the good in life. I know there are people worse off out there than we are and know I shouldn't be asking you this, but, Papa, why did you have to go? Why did you have to go and leave Chiyo and Mama? Why did you have to go and leave_ me _? Why? I don't understand it, papa. We all needed you, especially me. You were everything to mama and then she changed! Now I don't even know how to connect to my sister in a normal way... And it hurts. Honestly, I'm probably handling this the worst of all of them. I know Chiyo wants me to be around more, but I just can't... I'm sorry..."_

I usually didn't remember things that well but those words stuck in my head like glue after that. I never even realized how much suffering I was causing him until that day, or how much he was actually enduring, and hiding, and even lying about before then. Though I never once confronted him on it, it suddenly became easier for me to get along with him, even after our mother passed, even though we did still have some disputes and petty arguements and he still kind of acted cold like he didn't care, but he was the closest family and even friend I realized I ever had, so I stayed stong for him. That day was the first time I ever saw him cry or break down. I just wanted to hug him, but I didn't have the courage, so I just did what I could from a distance from then on, made breakfast, and stuff like that. And I could tell he was appreciative of it even if he told me he could make his own breakfast and that he didn't need help."

After the woman said all this, she smiled gently at Kururi, patting her on the head and standing up as a nurse called her name. "You may never know it because not everybody cries to a picture frame, but maybe your brother doesn't seem to be around for more reasons than you think, and maybe he does care for you both more than you believe he does. Just consider it, alright? And don't worry. I'm sure that if you try to give him a chance, you might see through it, Kururi-san. I'm sure your twin sister will be fine if Orihara-san is here. He may act like you're both troublesome, but that's what siblings are for, and true non-formal relationships are, no matter if it's family, friends, enemies, or even love. You'll always try to see them as who they are, no matter what faults or obstacles there may happen to be, okay? After all, bonding has to start somewhere, right? I'm so sorry this old timer just talked your ear off, but it's just a little advice for you, alright?"

Kururi nodded. "No, it's fine. Thank you, Chiyo-san."

The girl had never quite considered those things before, and it was encouraging to hear even if the woman's relationship with her sibling wasn't 'incestuous'. Above all, she was sort of appreciative for being able to listen to the older lady's story, but there was one question that was brought back into her mind after that, aside from if Mairu had even woke up yet, and what she was thinking and if she was okay.

 _\- "To be honest, I don't even know when everything become so estranged between us, myself. Does Iza-nii even know? How would I be able to mend our supposed 'bond'? Would it even be possible at this point like it was for her? No, it can happen... To protect Mairu..., I have to find a way."_

Those were her thoughts, but once again, she was only faced with personal doubts, and also had to question how and what had went wrong between them. Was it really the humans that had stole Izaya away from them, or was it their own parents to blame for not being around, or was it Izaya's fault for letting himself be pulled away? She could only look down as she thought about it, and her thoughts went in many different directions.

Maybe it her own fault that Mairu had done what she did, that she had missed the signs, or... ignored them because she had just been trying to reasure herself that her sister was completely fine?

And that's when she finally began to realize it. All along..., just maybe, it was each of their own faults for not trying hard enough to reach out and take Izaya back... and Izaya's for not reaching out to them and pulling away. Maybe the string of fate that connected all three of them was actually so full of misunderstandings and false impressions and knotted up so badly, thay they had just kept trying to untangle it, but as a result it had just ended up more tangled in the end, because they didn't even know where or how to start.

Maybe, in a sense, none of them understood themselves or what they were doing to each other. Maybe down deep, whether he knew it or not, Izaya was actually just trying to avoid ruining their bond any more than what he felt he already had. If there was one thing she knew, it was that he did not claim to be a good person, and that he always darted out of the scene in a sense when he 'hurt' people or caused problems. She could naturally only make assumptions, but then she reminded herself that perhaps pondering assumptions and thoughts would always be a better start than none and not even trying at all.

Of course, her worry for Mairu and her increasing anxiety still didn't subside even once and only got worse as several hours passed and it was now at least 3 AM in the morning.

So when Izaya had finally came back up front, she hadn't even noticed him there until he had crouched down in front and gently placed his hand on her head. As their eyes met, he offered her an ever small smile. "...Hey."

Kururi stiffened, startled, and her heart fluttered awkwardly momentarily, for she was not used to being treated so kindly by Izaya of all people, but she doubted it even showed on her face. "...Mairu's health?"

Izaya sighed at seeing how quiet she was and seeing the stress and look of depression in his younger sister's face. Even if they were a headache at times, he wasn't the type of person who particularly enjoyed seeing either of his sisters in pain. Sure, a lot of times he added insult to injury, but it was never actually his intentions to hurt people even if him loving them resulted in that.

"Mairu should be fine, so there's no need to worry about something happening. A nurse's assistant is watching over her right now, because they still want to keep an eye on her for a little while until they make any concrete plans. And her wounds have been bandaged too." Izaya explained, looking away as well.

"You talked...?" Kururi wanted to know.

"Yeah. She didn't want to stay, but I guess it's for the best. We'll come back tomorrow alright? Who knows? I might even be able to get them to let you come back and see her, alright?" Izaya offered.

"...No... I won't go without Mairu..." Kururi protested quietly.

"Huh?" Izaya inquired.

"Mairu... I need Mairu." Kururi said. And it wouldn't until way later on, after he'd finally managed to force Kururi to leave the hospital, and after a series of rejected visits that the true meaning, depth and importance of those exact words would really dawn on him.

 _~ End of Chapter._

 _..._

 _ **A/N: I hope this is good. Also, I just began to wonder if one reason Mairu likes Kasuka in a way is because he's a lot like Kururi. I think Kururi went along with Mairu a lot of times because she loves Mairu just that much. Though it does remind me a little bit of how Kasuka would would still follow Shizuo around when they were younger...**_

 _ **Well Aoba is also like Izaya, so Mairu and (especially) Kururi might have gained such an attatchment to him, because of that. There's no telling what was going on in their heads when Aoba called them on the phone and warned them to stay away for the time being because it would be dangerous for them to get caught up in his ordeals. Always distancing himself in such a way a lot like Izaya. Maybe those are just my own thoughts, though. XD**_

 _ **Replies to Reviews:**_

 _ **To YokoFox6: Nope, I'm still trying, albeit slowly... Thank you for your support!**_

 _ **And I agree! The siblings bonding much less the pairing doesn't get enough attention, so I'm glad to be one to add it to fanfiction dot net's archive! XD**_

 _ **To First guest: Thanks so much for reading. And you're right. Not a lot do.**_

 _ **And I'm glad somebody is suppotive of that headcanon.**_

 _ **Indeed. I agree, because I actually think that most people forget that Durarara is not just a twisted story, but a twisted love story, so it seems possible enough to me. ^^**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Story: On the Bright Side, Chapter 4**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara!**_

 _ **...**_

9 Years Ago, Raijin High School...

He was curious. That's all there was to it. His twin sisters had been bullied and were crying. They had ran _all the way_ to his high school.

 _They had been called freaks and paint was thrown all in their hair just because they were twins._

 _Because they were different than everybody else and they didn't know why._

 _But it was because they weren't "normal"._

Yet they always wanted his approval and acknowledgement for anything.

They had even been told to die by their classmates.

 _Bullying is really pathetic_ , he thought to himself.

Maybe it was the fact that he felt they were twins from the beginning and thriving off him and each other wouldn't help the other's growth at all.

And he, himself, took advantage of their minds in a weak state all because he _just wanted to see._

He didn't know where it came from, but the words came out before he was really thinking about it.

"Hey, Kururi, Mairu, you're both the exact same, you know."

They both looked up at him. Their admiring but tear-filled gazes were fixated on their brother, the person they idolized and always tried to imitate even more than each other.

Shinra happened to be standing with him. He had previously been rambling on about the person he loved, but he had grown oddly silent, listening to Izaya's words with an oddly grim expression on his face as the next words came out of his mouth.

 _'If Kururi and Mairu can't even decide their worthiness on their own...'_

"You'll never be able to be different than each other no matter what you do. So what's the point of even living if you're both the exact same in every way?"

What had came out; Shinra actually seemed taken aback for once. And the girls as well.

It was as though they fully understood the meaning of his words, even though they were only five years old.

Maybe he had only said it because he was annoyed they they had went and cried to him; that they admired him in the way they did.

Or maybe it was because he wanted to see what they would do, and wanted to give them some kind of twisted goal to work towards, but even he didn't even know what he was really expecting by let his mouth do the talking instead of his brain.

Perhaps he just wanted to see if they would fight each other.

Or he might have wanted to see if they would stand up against him, or do something that would prove their bullies wrong.

Or if they would fall victim to believing what the bullies had said when he himself said the same thing they had.

Maybe he was irritated that they thought he would be anymore supportive than what he was; that they thought that he was such a good person and just wanted to prove them wrong and force them to question their extreme trust in him.

Or maybe it was even all of the above. He didn't know.

Because it wasn't like he hated them, or had any ill-will against them.

Though it was also true they were too reliant on him and he was aware that that 'trust' in him could get them greatly hurt.

Still, that wasn't to say that he had ever actually expected himself to say such a thing.

 _"To basically tell my own blood relatives who did nothing wrong to go die;... What the hell did I just say?..."_

Those were his thoughts, but he could only ever inwardly laugh at it later.

 _"Well, it's too late to apologize now, I guess, and if they actually take my words to heart, that's their own faults, right?..."_

After all, even his own trust in Shinra; it would be his own fault if Shinra had told him to go die and he actually ever considered it.

And yet...

He regretted what he said to them.

Especially when they actually began to change thanks to his stupid words.

They were abnormal to begin with, just like himself, and he had only succeeded in making matters so much worse.

...

 _Present Day,_

 _An Apartment in Shinjuku_.

Yagiri Namie was the type of person who always noticed right away when something was not 'right' and when things were amiss. And, depending on what it was, when something was 'wrong', she might or might not question it. While it was true that she only cared about matters concerning her brother, she wasn't the type of person that couldn't be destracted by things, especially when they were clearly events that were out of the ordinary.

Or more importantly, when they were practically right there in her face.

And what happened to be 'wrong' on this specific saturday was that the younger sister of her infamous boss, Orihara Izaya, Orihara Kururi, was sitting in the office of which _brother dearest_ had repeatedly tried to keep her out of for months, and that the other younger twin sister, Orihara Mairu, was not with her once. For some reason, seeing that sight was bothersome, since they were hardly ever "not together".

Aside from that, Izaya was acting like he didn't even see her next to his desk. Plus, he had been wearing some bandages like there had been injuries.

 _"I wonder if he's gotten another fight with Heiwajima recently... But that wouldn't explain why Kururi-san is here..."_

She would normally be able to just focus on her work without a problem, but she was actually finding herself beginning to get annoyed by Izaya's strange silence for the past few days and lack of an explanation. Why it was only now beginning to annoy her she didn't know, but she was just about ready to demand an explanation for Izaya actually being silent for once. She never thought she'd think it or admit it before, but she'd realized that an Izaya that was not talking your ear off all day long was not something she liked. While the silence was nice, there was a limit to how much she could take without loosing it and simply getting _annoyed_.

When Izaya suddenly stood up, smirking as always, he turned to face her. "Hey, Namie, I'm going to restroom, so look over everything until I get back, alright?"

Now Namie grew even more agitated without any real reason. As such, she suddenly refused to let this go so easily. She would get an explaination, whether Izaya liked it or not. The reason she was in such a bad mood today might have had something to do with that _'bitch'_ , Harima Mika, or that was the conclussion she had subconsciously came to, anyway, and that bit of knowledge didn't make her feel like stopping at the slightest. If anything, it only further increased her irritation.

As Izaya stepped out the door, she immediately followed behind. "Izaya, what's wrong? You're acting strange and being really silent, too. And don't you dare dart out of this!"

"Acting strange? To be honest, I could ask you the same question, couldn't I?" He turned to face her, a dumbfounded but slightly irritated look on his face at hearing this.

"And anyway," he muttered, his face suddenly dark and void of any positive emotion. If anything, he just looked tired. "I don't know what you're talking about, Namie-san, but I thought that this is what you wanted. Aren't I just the annoying boss that you always want to go die?"

"Yes, that's true, but I-" Namie backed up slightly as Izaya edged towards her dangerously. She was aware that if Izaya happened to fight her seriously, she wouldn't be the winner. He may not strong like Heiwajima Shizuo, but he was by no means weak.

"But _what_?" Izaya inquired, interruping her. Namie was now sure that something wasn't right. Izaya may manipulate people in a way, he may be able to lie even with a smile that never met his eyes, or even be able to convince people that it's okay to act on what they want to do even if it meant them killing somebody, but he obviously wasn't even trying to smile anymore and if there was one thing he didn't do, it was not letting people finish their sentences.

And even though she knew that, she still refused to let go of this personal aggression she was feeling because she had her own irrritations at the moment and simply felt like challenging him, and provoking him. After all, surely he was somehow to blame for whatever had went wrong for both of them this time. Izaya had surely told Seiji to not pick up his phone. And surely, Izaya had told Mika to not answer the truth to her and act like he was just busy. Surely, Izaya was to blame for at least a little bit of everything of which was going wrong, because Yagiri Namie absolutely detested any human being that was not Yagiri Seiji and also anybody who got in the way of her love for Seiji, because her love had to remain unswayed and absolute, no matter what.

"What difference does it make if I'm silent, if you just want me dead anyway, Namie? If you're so annoyed at me, why don't you just try to kill me?" He smirked coldly. She didn't even care to argue her case against him.

"Truthfully, it's actually quite bothersome to me, but why has Kururi-san been coming here the for past few days, and why is Mairu-san not with her?"

"Hm? I don't feel obligated to answer that, sorry. Also, I don't recall hiring you as some interrogator, ne? She's not here because she's somewhere else, but I'm sure that you of all people are bright enough to be able to assume that, aren't you? That's really all you need to know, though, isn't it?" He shrugged.

Namie held back the urge to slap him, and instead glared at him. "Why do you always do that? Why are you always pushing people away like that, Izaya? That's one thing that I really hate about you. All I did was ask a question."

"And I answered it, though it is quite obvious that you're trying to provoke me into seriously hurting you. Look, why are you getting so angry at _me_ suddenly, today? I don't mind if you leave, you know." Izaya muttered, looking away from her.

"Just mind your own business, Namie. Seriously, this doesn't concern you, or anybody else, at all, so I doubt you'd like the results of getting dragged into ordeals that don't concern you nor your 'precious Seiji', don't you agree? See, if somebody like you goes and drags themselves into some of my problems, it might not even be me that they'll have to face, anymore. You're a really smart woman, Namie, so I'm sure you understand what I'm saying, ne?"

"Don't you dare patronize me, you bastard, but fine... do whatever. See if I care. But... I want to ask you one thing, first..." Namie finally sighed, knowing all too well that she was pushing her luck as it was, and something in Izaya's eyes said he was trying to get along, even if he knew she was stressed out, so she reluctantly averted her gaze.

"Oh? And what's that?" Izaya questioned, albeit sarcastically.

"Are your problems really so bad that you can't even talk to your own little sister when she looks so damn depressed? At least tell me that much." No, Namie didn't especially like Mairu or Kururi, but she didn't really _like_ to see other people suffering, either. She just most detested people who wasn't her brother, and that was all there was to it.

"...I don't know. Perhaps it's just too complicated to know how to answer that, even for myself." Izaya gave his answer, still not looking at her, before excusing himself beneath his breath though loud enough that she could have heard him.

It was true, though; something _had_ been utterly wrong within his mind over the past few days, but it was nothing that could be helped, because, as of right now, it would just be too troublesome to even discuss anything or talk about his feelings when he didn't even know where or how to begin. Yet, he wasn't a child. He did know he wasn't getting anywhere by not facing Kururi about what was going on with Mairu, and was in fact procrastinating as long as he could because, once again, even he didn't know what to do this point and he felt damned helpless because of it. All because, for yet another time in his life, he'd truly miscalculated something, and while he was fully aware that he was not completely to blame, nor completely responsible, that bit of said awareness did not make him anymore at ease nor any less bitter at Mairu and was even feeling an irrational irritation toward his parents, but, much more importantly, himself.

"Even if I _tried_ to find an answer,... there's no way I'd be able to come up with a _logical_ one, anyway, right...? I honestly don't even know what to do as of right now, myself, so how am I even suppose to talk to her when I'm mostly to blame for it, anyway...?"

 _Namie doesn't know anything_ , he told himself.

"To blame for _what_ , might I ask?" said woman's voice suddenly inquired, startling him.

He gritted his teeth at hearing her. He was now standing at a vending machine in the apartment, about to put money into it.

"You sure are persistent, _aren't_ you, _sister dearest_?" He hissed.

"You're the one who said it, mister _brother dearest_." She simply remarked and shrugged, folding her arms.

"Touché." He smirked bitterly, before turning around, sighing exhaustedly. All humans were interesting to him, but he had to admit that his secretary was most assuredly like his 'good friend' Shinra in a way to the point where he couldn't read her that well because of her love for her brother. Of course, he knew he, himself, was no better.

"Speak, then. I won't judge."

"You're too kind. Mairu's in the hospital, alright?"

Hospital? Namie was honestly taken aback. Had there been a fight between the family in which Izaya hurt Mairu? Or something else, maybe? Even Izaya didn't seem like the person to outright physically harm somebody else, unless they attacked him first.

"...Was she hurt by somebody?"

"...By herself, yes. If you count cutting herself up to the point she passes out as being hurt by 'somebody'." Izaya said, leaning against the vending machine with a far off look in his eyes.

When Namie heard that, she only then realized the wound she might be opening.

But, somehow, a sudden feeling had sparked in her, and she wanted to get to the bottom of it.

She actually wanted to see, for once, just how human the man named Orihara Izaya really was at heart.

 _~ End of Chapter 4._

...

 _ **A/N: I hope it's good! Please let me know what you think! Even just a few words saying "this was good" or something, please?**_

 _ **If there's something I could have done better, let me know that too, ne?**_

 _ **Replies to Reviews-**_

 _ **To unknown:**_ _ **Hope this chapter was a good read too. Thanks for reading.**_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Story: On the Bright Side, Chapter 5**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara!**_

 _ **note: If you have any corrections about Mairu and Kururi's canon taste buds to make about this chapter, please let me know.**_

 _ **LadyElizabeth13, I'm glad you like it! Thank you! =w=**_

 _ **SG, I hope this answers your question. And I hope everybody likes how I portrayed him! And I'm gonna have to bring Shizuo and back in Shinra soon enough. Celty too will find out.**_

 _ **And I'm serious, Izaya is so Tsundere and Yandere and yet deceitful, even he doesn't seem to be able to understand himself at times, but it would mean so much if someone tells me what you think of my portrayal of Izaya!**_

 ** _Warning: Kururi is tiny bit spoiled, but we all know who she obviously gets that from._**

...

I love humans. Without a doubt, I'll accept all of humanity as a whole, and, though there are some exceptions, I'll generally accept all actions of humanity as being such, no matter how stupid or disgusting or kind or hate-filled or spiteful they are.

If I am shown reactions of hate as retribution, for example, I will understand it, and I will return it with seemingly equal feelings and return it accordingly. However, when I am shown actions of which I can not predict without a reason, whether it be somebody being nice for no apparent reason or somebody being friendly and being my "friend" first, or in general despite what I do to them, or even somebody expressing hate at first meeting and knocking fear into me without a reason, there is no telling what I'll do or how I'll react, for even I can't predict such a thing.

The possibilities of humanity are completely endless, yet, as long as there is what one might call a "cause and effect" reasoning, I can always predict that humans' reactions will be an action that varies between A, B, C, or D, or maybe a mix of them all, depending on the area, era, who it is, or even the society in question, as well as personal experiences of the individuals themselves.

You may not believe me, but it is true that humanity is my passion and therefore I can love all humans even if it results in them hating me or trying to kill me, or a 'friend' abandoning me. I'll always always always continue to love humans, and, again, even if somebody whom I love couldn't forgive me for something , no matter how small or big, tries to get back at me and take revenge, no matter how minimal or extreme their retrobutions are, I can still understand their feelings, and I can love them all equally.

However, just because I 'love' them, it doesn't mean I care about one person in particular. It doesn't mean that I "want what is best for them", because, if it did, it would mean that I was denying something as vital as my very own way of life; It would mean that I would be denying who I am. I can't have that, I refuse to, so I accordingly and often subconsciously find myself measuring people's value to me, and deciding ahead of time the roles people play in my life, and, if they are somebody I cannot read and yet find to be necessary to my existance and state of mind, they will simply recieve a place inside of my 'innerwalls'.

And alas, so far, only one person has ever made it there, though it was not my intention. One person, whom I could never understand, broke past my very own walls in a single day - the eccentric man named 'Kishitani Shinra'. If I could, I would cut off all ties with him. However, I can not predict the expressions he would show me if I did, or at the slightest how he would react. And my intentions are generally not to _completely_ break somebody, so I prefer not to act unless I'm sure of the amount of damage I'll cause, unless I have ill-mannered reasons to do so. Although there are times that I ended up hurt or hurting somebody more than intented and even when I didn't intend to, simply because I miscalculated the situation and acted reckless.

Again, you may choose to believe me or not, but I really do love all humans. However, there are exceptions, as I mentioned earlier.

They are ones like Sonohara Anri, Heiwajima Shizuo, and Sturluson Celty, whom I hate because Anri gave up her humanity yet still expected to be seen as human, Shizuo caused numerous damage to my life without a single reason other than "because you're fishy", and because he's unpredictable; an animal that works on instinct and a simple annoying whim that only proves right maybe half the time. He has even hurt Shinra before, whom I do realize that I care for in a way, and I have often had to pay for his screw ups, so I simply and happily returned the favor because of the simply fact that I cannot get along with that beast. I am also jealous, however, that he at least can accept emotions at face value and can still make bonds and connections despite his label as a "monster". Then there's Celty - which is not a human - again, who tries to act human despite being a monster, and influenced Shinra to the point where he would never care to focus on humans, or would at least keep caring less and less about them.

Otherwise, I'll always continue to love humans, even if my love causes a target of it to break, because I can love all broken humans equally. I'll still 'love' them for their flaws and faults, no matter how they evolve. Maybe it's true that I don't condone their actions, but I can condone their feelings, but I will always continue loving them for those decisions and mistakes.

However, Kishitani Shinra is a case of somebody that can understand who I am without trying, yet somehow doesn't hate me, and still continues to call himself my friend. I find it funny, but I try to accept it, despite how strange and how much of a burden it seems to be to me.

On the other hand, I still want to keep our distance as it is to savor our "friendship" and "bond". Several times in the past, I have started to get rid of it because I wanted to cut off all ties with that guy, but have gotten bored, and always found it too mentally straining to go through with doing so in the end, because I guess I'm just lazy.

On the other hand, thinking about Shinra also brings up troublesome and rather disturbingly annoying memories which I don't like reflecting on, so I don't and won't.

Although, when I think about it, that is basically like how I do with anything and anybody else I dislike, can't reason with, can't deal with, or just can't understand, such as that parasitic vermin Sonohara Anri-chan and that demon sword Saika whom I refuse to share my humans with, my detestable mortal enemy Shizu-chan who always interferes with my fun no matter what the circumstances are, whom I would prefer to just die right now, Kuronuma Aoba-kun who I find to be impossible to agree with at points, that coward Kida Masaomi-kun who is afraid to face his friends and constantly runs away from them, and lastly even my own sisters whom I simply don't know how to deal with because of my guilt for how they turned out.

I do not hate my younger twin sisters, because as much as I hate to say it, I feel more guilty than I'd like for them turning out the way they did. I, their role model, was once the only standard of the only world they knew. I was the one that encouraged such a ridiculous change in them when they probably weren't even old enough to fully comprehend the impact of my words.

When my twin sisters were only five years old and had just been bullied, I was the one who seriously took advantage of that weak moment to basically convey to them, albeit in question form, "There's no point in living if you two are just going to live as clones, even though, to everybody else, you'll just always be the same as each other in every aspect, either way, Kururi and Mairu".

In that way, I believe they took the message that I was disappointed in them and took it harshly. As a result, they wanted more than anything to impress me, to recieve a certain type of twisted love from myself, and began to do the most crazy things, even chosing to take extreme actions like flipping a coin to choose their personalities, just to gain my praises. Soon enough, I actually began to feel truly guilty. In the end, I knew they didn't deserve such a fate, and-

It began to annoy me.

Because I had miscalculated something.

I hadn't predicted that my words would result in anything like _that_.

Not only that, but when I - _reluctantly_ \- started to observe them for a while several years ago on an insistant whim, I somehow suddenly saw myself in them, and I immediately grew disgusted and began to dislike them, because I knew their attitudes were a reflection of my very own. They had abandoned their own humanity.

It is true that I 'love' humans, however, I cannot accept their decision to do such a thing as to supposedly "become a perfect human" all because they are just that; 'no exception'. To me, family are friends just like non-family, even Shizu-chan in a way. I did once consider, however, that my sisters are interesting to me to observe as seperate 'subjects', but it would only be that way if I could observe them as _seperate subjects_. It's because I love humans that I want discover their own respective personalities and desires and for them to do the same. But suddenly, I realize something.

"Hmph, it sounds like you're jealous of them." I hear my secretary snort, after I have told her some of my thoughts.

After a minute, I consider that maybe she is right.

I give a bitter smirk as I think about it, and chuckle a bit.

Somehow, I do kind of envy them, but I have mixed feelings about them, because I know that they are not living true to their own desires or heart, one, but are instead living, out of obsession, against themselves in a way that I have never seen in humans before.

It is obvious to me only now, however, that they truthfully took on opposite personalities than their own resective ones and chose to face those things that they 'hate' and feel uncomfortable with, just to live up to their own standards to impress him, _all because_ _that is who they have to be_.

They willingly chose to step out of their own comfort zones and while they do live true to some of their desires in certain aspects such as some personal interests and hobbies, much just like himself, they deny their respective emotions that make them who they are, all for the sake of living opposite to both each other and who they are, to become a supposedly "perfect human" as well as to protect and keep each other close in a way that only they, sometimes himself and likely Shinra, could ever understand.

"Hey, Namie," I smirk a bit, looking up at said woman. "have I ever told you _why_ my sisters took on opposite personalities?"

She glances at me. "You said that they flipped a coin to decide their personalities, right? But as for the reasoning behind an absurd decision, no, you haven't. Hah, knowing _you_ , I bet you emotionally abused them."

I smirk at her accusation with slight amusement. For a moment I think it is a good thing that she doesn't know the dark truth behind her little joke.

"Wow, you really remember all that? I certainly don't keep you around for nothing, ne?... Well, anyway, I'd agree that it's not like I originally did it to make them happy or anything, but it's not that I did it to really hurt them either. Anyway, when they were five, I simply told them that they should not live since they were duplicates. Pretty heartless, isn't it?"

That was a half truth, naturally, because I had actually simply asked them what the point of living was. I didn't actually directly tell them to die or to not live. I had left it bit vague so they could have multiple responses to act on.

After I say that, she seems to frown a bit at my statement.

"Even for you, doesn't that seem pretty extreme? That doesn't really seem like something you'd normally say to somebody without some sort of reason." she remarks flatly.

"It doesn't? Well, I have said it before, but..." I look away with another, though slightly forced and habitual, smile. "even _I_ don't what I'll do until a situation arises. Anyway, it's not like I actually expected them to try to commit suicide or anything..."

When she says nothing, I continue.

"You see, I kind of got bored and it simply irked me that they wouldn't behave completely true to themselves, so I tried to _"push"_ them in multiple different directions so they would be challenged to face their true selves, because observing people who are not true to themselves(including both their desires and emotions) is not fun to me at all and only causes me mental strain.

As I have said before, I accept, love and just want to observe all people for who they are, though there is one exception, being Shizu-chan, no matter how bad or good they are.

But... What I've seen in these past few days furthur proves what I'm saying. They're not happy nor content and they're suppressing their real emotions even when they should be expressing them. Ah,... quite frankly, it pisses me off..."

I pause for a long moment, gazin down and away. For the first time in a while, my smile is not present. Because of that, my face might look mostly expressionless, and it _would_ be if my eyebrows were not knitted, showing my thoughtfulness and confusion as to how to deal with this situation at hand.

Namie has said nothing for a short while and I briefly find myself wondering if she has left or is still there, but I have not the concern to look and find out, but I would understand if she _has_ left.

"If only they would live and act for their own sense of fullfilment, I could happily observe them, but, as it is, they don't even seem to know who they really are. I've said it before; I just don't know how to deal with them and that is one of the reasons." I spit lowly, suddenly giving a small bitter smile as I do so.

" _Man_ , sometimes, I really envy Shinra for his ability to not be affected by the things that everybody else is somehow bothered by. And how he can read people like a book without really even trying! Hahaha... The truth is that I truly pity yet admire their extreme devotion to their love for both myself and each other."

 _"If only I could understand myself better,"_ I think to myself, _"and these illogical feelings, which I personally consider nuisance, called_ "true love", _then maybe I could accept myself_. _If I could understand my sisters more, then maybe I could grow to understand myself more and actually be happy..."_

I spit at the thought.

 _"Actually, what a_ rediculous _thought."_

My sisters are simply my sisters, so there can't be anything more between us, even if they love each other; they are simply my 'friends', they could never be anything more, nobody could, at least that's what I tell myself. After all, I only love humans.

\- But then I remember Shinra.

And, curiously enough, I suddenly cannot completely dismiss the annoying thought that maybe there is more after all.

But why?

Why am I desiring to know more and desiring to understand them so much... Why am desiring more things than I should?

This was all my fault in the end, I realize. I feel myself shaking.

I immediately feel sickened with myself at that very realization and the previous thought, but then I remember that I once had always looked down on my secretary for the same exact thing. And suddenly I almost felt bad for the woman.

 _Almost_. It's not my problem, after all.

However, as that conclusion enters my mind, despite what I've done to her in the past, she does something that I could have never predicted-

She embraces me.

It's so gentle.

It's warm.

It's comforting.

And I assume that it's _probably_ genuine, even in her detachment from and loathing for this world.

Above all else, it at least has helped me calm down some from all the unnerving thoughts going through my head.

So I return it.

"You're an idiot, you know that?" She said.

"But I kind of like my idiocy." I argue weakly.

"Stop with the damned lies, you bastard."

I freeze.

"Just let out your feelings," She tells me, "and stop hiding them, will you? You may be fairly terrible person, but... not a single rule in this damn world prohibits you from crying or ranting or expressing yourself, Izaya... So just let it out dammit."

"...Thanks, Namie..." And so, as per asked, I do.

...

"Oi..."

Kururi had been sitting beside Izaya's desk for the past five or six hours, though she herself had lost track of the time. The time she had spent without Mairu had felt like an eternity to her.

Not to mention the fact that she hadn't slept since that night, so naturally she was incredibly dazed, yet restless, and she wasn't processing the difference between day and night very well at all. It just felt like it had been one hell of a long day or rather night to her, because, without Mairu, time had stopped and her world was at a complete standstill.

And she couldn't find much motivation to do hardly anything, but couldn't just lie down and 'rest', not knowing what was going on with Mairu. Irrational hate, depression and utter loathing aimed toward both herself and the world around her, including Izaya a bit, just kept building up until it was eating away at her chest. If asked, she would have no idea what to say or how to answer why she was feeling so hostile. Was she also angry at all at Mairu for daring to risk such a thing as _leaving_ her?

There was no apparent expression on her face, yet to somebody like Izaya or Aoba who seemed to know her well enough, it was apparently obvious that she had looked even more "monotonous" than she normally did.

A few days prior, Aoba had asked her if she was okay at school when he saw that Mairu was not with her, when he recognized that she wasn't at all happy. Aoba had seen right through her unreadable and mysterious expression and in fact offered to listen to her if she wanted to talk.

Yet, despite his semi-obvious concern, she couldn't bring herself to want to furthur concern him or tell much of anybody anything at all about what was going on or even speak as much as she usually did in public, which was already very little in general.

And since she was used to Mairu speaking out before and even _for_ her in public anyway, she had no real idea on _what_ to say and hadn't cared to nor wanted too talk much anyway. Mairu was usually the one who initiated everything while she herself just followed behind and watched over her to an extent. Over years of repeating the same habit and keeping to opposite personalities, she knew that their those traits had most likely became a part of them, and they likely wouldn't be able to recognize their entire "true self" if they tried. While it's true that she was most definitely better at observing humans than Mairu sometimes because of her supposedly "withdrawn" nature being left to silently observe things from a bit of a distance, both of them had problems fitting into society because of the way they were, who they were, and what they were(twins). However, being shunned and bullied may have only seemed to bother them half the time.

In reality, however, they didn't care about themselves and their own well being nearly as much as they cared about each other.

One might ask them why or how they could love each other without fear when incest was 'taboo'. But, as far as she was concerned, some people don't know how to keep their mouths shut and just claimed it to "not be natural" or "morally wrong" without giving an actual justification or reason, the fact was every group and "taboo subject" out there had enemies, while they also each had supporters. Being 'Taboo' certainly didn't stop a lot of gays or threesomes.

To Kururi, whether it could be considered a good thing or something terrible, since some time during elementary school, Mairu had slowly became the standard of her world, and vice versa. Mairu was the only one she was able to truly confide in since their brother wasn't there as he could have been and especially nor were their parents. Most importantly, they were able to help each other make up for what they didn't have or had trouble finding in themselves, and they didn't even need words to do such a thing.

Mairu, in a sense, had good self-confidence, but had bad self esteem while Kururi somehow had bad confidence but good self esteem.((note: If you remember that when descibing that Mairu was less confident, I put "confident" in quotations.))

By stepping out of their own comfort levels, they could encourage each other. She considered that maybe it was also reflection on their own selves and their "real personalities".

It would explain why she felt more 'alive' in the chatrooms than anywhere else.

It was true that they were both identical twins, and at one point they had no apparent distinctive personalities, but back when they were still in Raijin Elementary School, what Izaya had said to them had sort of hurt, but it also had motivated them and given them a purpose. They knew he was only being himself and giving his humans that "push" he always talked about to encourage them to act according to their own hearts or desires and remain true to themselves; to get them to face their problems and watch them at their full human potential as sparks flied in those 'climaxes'.

Though they knew he hadn't done it out of a particular kindness, and nor out of the "goodness of his heart", they were still both appreciative yet also resentful of it.

They were thankful, because he had been the first and only one up until now to encourage them to find a distinctive personality and to fix what was causing them problems, regardless of their nature, rather than just accepting it, Before that, the way they clung to each other was even worse than now, and they used to be often bullied a lot more because of their matching personalities.

Because of him, they had felt determined to become somebody, they had found a purpose, she herself had felt _alive_ because of confiding in Mairu. And even more than each other, Izaya was the true standard of _their_ world. Even if he never looked back at them and even if he never acknowledged or loved them the way they loved him, they would still always admire him, because he was their brother, their 'family', and the resilient person that they admired more than anybody else. And in many more ways than one, they resided in and loved their brother for the same reasons they resided in and loved each other. To Orihara Kururi and Orihara Mairu, Orihara Izaya was their standard of, and reason for, _living_ ; he was the base for their personalities and who they were.

That was why, back when they had flipped the coin to decide their personalities, Izaya had been their role model they were judging personalities by, and they willingly went along with it because it seemed right, hoping to one day recieve his praise and even love.

But over time, it had became obsessive, to a point where they could no longer decipher what they were even originally acting for at points anymore.

And they began to resent him just as much as they loved and admired him. They couldn't stand being pushed away by him. They wanted more than anything for Izaya to be honest with them and to stop lying to them. They wanted Izaya to show them his heart, and who he really was. They spited how Izaya insisted to 'love' humanity when it probably downright hated him.

They hated how he insisted to like do everything utterly alone and how he just 'accepted' having nobody to reside in. They couldn't stand the wall he had built around his heart. They couldn't stand not being able to read or understand him.

Again, they absolutely loathed how Izaya ignored them and completely pushed them away; pushed away the only _'person'_ that ever admired him and would always be there if only he would actually ask for them to.

Yet somehow they also loved and admired that stubborn side of Izaya as well. It was... cute.

Above anything else, they envied Kishitani Shinra for gaining Izaya's attention, being able to see through him and understand him when they themselves were not able to.

It was in middle school when he had changed. Though they were very young before that, they still had memories of him being around far more. After Shinra had met Izaya, however, the distance between the twins and their brother slowly kept getting wider and wider and the young innocent twins only kept growing even closer and closer as a way to cope with quite a few factors in their life, though it was impossible to tell if they recognized it; the bullying, the lack of understanding of what was going on around them and processing "why?", lack of emotional support and motivation, their parents not being around, Izaya isolating himself, constantly lying to them and telling them terrible things obviously in hopes of pushing them away and experimenting with them as well as having to watch said man constantly getting into violent situations with Heiwajima Shizuo.

Now that Kururi thought about it, the idea of even trying to "untangle their strings of fate" was rediculously pointless and impossible. Every time they interacted, their conversations were filled with more hidden lies and more misunderstandings. They might sound normal, but that was because they had surely once thought they were able to accept the growing tension in their family.

Yet, now that she herself also thought about that, she hated the prospect of it; was _completely_ _irritated_ by the growing distance, and at Izaya for many things that even she herself couldn't recognize at the moment.

It also seemed like her thoughts simply kept bringing her mind back to images of Mairu's cuts littering her entire arms and the blood that had stained the bathroom, and each time she had grown unexplainably irritable and anxious even thinking about it.

She had to bring herself as little stress as possible, because that was what Mairu would have wanted, she was sure.

She was here because she also knew that if she had stayed at school any longer for the time being, and if she kept hearing her classmates whispering things and insults about both herself and, more importantly, Mairu, because they ignorantly assumed she herself couldn't hear them, somebody was going to _suffer_.

She had had two choices; either leave the school grounds or pull some kind of terrible 'prank' to get her mind off of it. And she had decidedly chose the former and more logical option, leaving school early without permission to come right to the only place she could think to come because she refused to go to her real "home" alone, because she refused to let even more unwanted thoughts and impulsive temptations build up than already had.

"Kururi?... Alas, kids your age are suppose to be in school at this time of day, you should know. What do you need?..." her brother had asked her that day as she was standing at his door.

"...Don't want to go home... nor school." she had muttered, not looking him in the eye. It had been the one of the first and only things she had said that entire day.

Izaya had briefly studied her with an odd expression, before sighing. He had(obviously reluctantly) gestered for her to come in. "Fine. Don't interfere with my or Namie-san's work when she comes in, though, or you'll regret it, though it won't be me you'll be facing~ She has quite the temper when she gets mad, and I'd really rather not put up with it right now, okay?" was all he said, before sitting down at his desk which she herself was now sitting beside.

She hadn't been back to school since.

As she thought back to it now, she ultimately began to wonder what was going through his head on that day when he looked her over and allowed her into his office when he typically never would have before.

Was he mad at, disappointed in, or annoyed by seeing her?

Was he partially blaming her for what happened to Mairu?

Did he even _care_ what happened to Mairu?

She really wanted to know to know the answer to all that, despite seeing his reaction to seeing her blood _that night_ , but before she could come up with or dare ask for an answer-

" _Ya_ , here."

Kururi, suddenly startled, looked up to see the very man she had been thinking about kneeling in front of her, offering her a bar of dark chocolate with a slightly gentle smile.

Though it was true that she shared Izaya's fervor of food, she wasn't hungry or, rather, in the _mood_ to stomach anything at the moment. She _hadn't_ been for the past week.

"...Not hungry." she muttered, burying her chin furthur into her arms which were folded over her knees.

"What do you mean? You've obviously not eaten for several _days_ , Kururi. You need to eat something, or Mairu might not be the only one in the hospital, you know~"

"Don't care..." Kururi mumbled.

 _"..._ Right _, how could I not remember...? Kururi wants to see Mairu, so going to the hospital would be a_ great _idea to her."_ Izaya sighed with inwardly sarcasm at the realization.

"...Look, I know you're mad, but moping around like this isn't going to help any of us, Kururi. Now come on and eat this. At least a bite?" He held it up to her face.

"Don't want to..." she muttered, pulling away.

When Kururi did this, Izaya was already running thin on patience. He was open-minded, yes, but when somebody blatantly goes against logic like this, he tended to get irritated.

"What do you want to eat, then?" Needless to say, he was trying his best.

"...want to see Mairu..." she mumbled, now fully burying her face in her arms.

Izaya sighed again, but decided to just put up with it. "So you're planning to starve yourself? What do you think will happen if you starved to death before you got the chance to see her again? Knowing her, she'd probably try to kill me for real and if I can help it, alas, I'd rather live."

He then smiled. "Or do you feel so guilty that you think Mairu is too mad at you to encourage such a thing as keeping your safety in tact? You feel like you're the one most responsible for her doing what she did, don't you?"

Auburn met auburn.

As he said that, Kururi looked up at him. "I would think she wants you be happy and to stay healthy even if she isn't? Ah, it'd be troublesome for both of us if you pass out from hunger, you know."

"Don't act concerned..." Kururi interrupted him.

"...Fine," Izaya simply didn't care to argue at the moment. "I'll just put it this way. The idea of somebody's life being pointlessly lost just to spite the truths I point out is so hilarious that it annoys me. Anyway, is you dying what Mairu would honestly want?"

"Screw what Mairu wants." The near-fifteen year girl grumbled spiteful words they both knew she didn't mean down deep, swallowing a lump in her throat. Tears whelled up in her eyes. "She tried to leave me."

"It must be hard, being seperated from your respective emotions... Ah, but I'm here if you need somebody to _listen_..." Izaya suddenly offered with a light smile. And that is when she snapped.

"...Why _now_ , brother? You were never here before now... Why are you suddenly acting like you care _now_ when she _nearly commits suicide_? I-"

Before she could finish her sentence, he reached out, and brought her into an soft embrace, as he pulled her head against his chest so she could hear the rapidly-pounding heart in his chest. His face was not to be seen, though he spoke in a low and ever-so-slightly shaken voice. "And I'm sorry."

Her heart skipped a beat at his actions and tender words. Her face heated up a bit too much.

"Look, Kururi... Your brother isn't very honest at all when it comes to matters of his heart, he's constantly twisting his feelings and doing horrible things, is an over all not-so-great-person, but..., as much as he doesn't want to acknowledge it, he _does_ have a heart," He had swallowed his pride to admit every single bit of this. "and _does_ care _very much_ in his own way for both of his little sisters. I know I've screwed up, and I don't have a right to ask this now, but please forgive your older brother, because, he is only a simple human down deep..."

"...I forgive Brother, at least some." Kururi said after a moment.

"...Ah, thanks, Kururi," He actually hadn't expected her to at the slightest, but maybe she knew that. "will you please eat something now?..."

"Still not hungry." Kururi shook her head.

"Kuuururiii..." Izaya immediately let out an exasperated sigh.

She probably wouldn't get the chance to hear those specific words or such a heartfelt confession from her brother again for a while, but she felt she didn't need to, because now she understood him a little more and a little more about who he really was.

Within her heart, which was doing flips, she realized that the confirmation of her true desires and emotions were suddenly made a bit clearer.

And she briefly wondered how Izaya had felt about it.

...

 _ **A/N: Omg, I hope this is good and this was so hard to write! Please tell me what you think, please!**_


	6. Chapter 6

_**Story: On the Bright Side, Chapter 6**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara!**_

 _ **I'm not used to writing for Aoba, so this was very hard for me to write, and is probably ooc. I'm currently reading Volume 4 and slowly trying to read more into the characters, so I will likely rewrite Aoba's part when I get a chance.**_

 _ **Scratch that, after I have completely read novels 4, 5, 6, 10, 11, and 12, I definitely plan to reedit a lot of my stories.**_

 _ **And I plan to have something happen soon(some good ol plot).**_

 _ **And there should be some slight romance between Kururi and Mairu in the next chapter, in case you are wondering.**_

 _ **Replies to reviews-**_

 _ **To ultron emporer: Thank you. It really makes me happy that you like it. I ship NamiZaya as well xD**_

 _ **To Contemporanio: Aquí está el siguiente capítulo~ ^^ (Is that correct español? Lo siento... Soy inexperto. u.u;)**_

...

Much to the disdain of Izaya, he now strolled toward Raira University Hospital in Ikebukuro, holding his sister's hand.

"You know they probably won't allow you back, Kururi... I'll do all I can, but I'm not going to promise anything." He finally said, in an attempt to both console her and curse at the silence.

"...it's fine." was all Kururi said. She knew he was trying his hardest, and even if it was just to get her to be quiet about seeing Mairu, she couldn't ask for more.

Izaya, meanwhile, wanted to get this over with. Ultimately, if something happened, it would, with a doubt, be he _himself_ who people questioned, and he really didn't need anymore risk of stigma following him at the moment. Aside from that, even though he didn't want to admit it, he knew that it would be extremely troublesome for various reasons if either of his sisters were to die from not eating, especially when they were under his care. He couldn't allow it if he could help it. He wasn't _that_ heartless.

And of course, there were also reasons hidden even from himself that were coming to the surface which he _really_ didn't wish to speak about at the time being.

"Look,..." he swallowed, looking down at Kururi, not

paricularly liking the awkwardness between them. "let's say you don't get to see her today... can you try to be patient about it? And I would also be happy if you'd allow me to treat you to something at Russian Sushi, because I honestly really would prefer a living sister over a dead one, you know."

He almost didn't expect her to reply, but felt his heartbeat speed up when she looked up at him, their matching auburn eyes meeting yet again that day. He suddenly was unable to look away, almost feeling like he was in the midst of a staring contest. Her gaze seemed intense, with slightly creased eyebrows as if she was trying to read him.

"...a date?..." she asked, with apparent uncertainties.

Izaya hadn't meant it that way, but for once, he sighed and decided it was best to simply give in. _Why not?_

"Yeah, sure..." he forced himself to say, before looking away. There had always been a sort of oddness between them, but this was just...

He looked away after a second, unable to deal with her expecting gaze any longer.

However, what he didn't expect was her grip on his hand to tighten. He glanced back at him to see her smiling softly at him. "I promise..."

Taken aback by this, he opened his mouth as if to say something, but before he could speak-

A trashcan suddenly crashed into the back of his head, knocking him a bit forward, and causing him to pull Kururi along with him. Fortunately, since it _was_ _only a trashcan_ , his parkour skills allowed him to instinctively use his foot to stop himself. He spun around on his heel and prepared to use his free hand to catch Kururi before she was to hit the pavement. However, he was startled when he felt her suddenly pull him completely back up by his hand, and he saw that she had evidently already managed to completely regain her composure before even he himself had. She really must have been training lately with Mairu a lot more than he thought.

He didn't or rather couldn't bother to think too deeply about it, and glanced up in the direction from where the trashcan had probably came flying.

 _I should have expected this._

Izaya cursed himself, but gave a half-devious-half-irritated smirk as he met eyes with the blond male in bartender clothing who happened to be approaching them. It was the man he hated most of all, and the last person he wanted to see right now.

Heiwajima Shizuo.

"Izaya-kun, I thought I told you to stay out of Ikebukuro, didn't I?" The other glared, a vain present on the side of his face.

"Ah, you're just as unreasonable as you always are, I see... _Shizu-chan_..." Izaya smirked in disgusted amusement, while also trying his damndest to ignore Kururi, which began to tightly press her - _suffocating_ \- breasts against his side. She held her head to his chest, where she could hear his heart was currently hammering away rapidly in with some sort of untamed anxiety.

 _I really don't have time for this._

Izaya considered the situation, before holding his hands up in sarcasm. "Alas, I can't help but wonder if you even _have_ a brain sometimes. Didn't you ever consider that perhaps even I have important things to do sometimes? I am an older sibling just like _you_ , you know."

Of course, it also wasn't like he would leave if he _didn't_ have something important to do, and they both knew that. But Izaya also knew he didn't _have_ to leave, as Shizuo didn't own the city of Ikebukuro.

"Is that a challenge?" Shizuo asked, approaching him with a glare.

"Who knows?" Izaya raised an eyebrow, his smirk widening and becoming rather sarcastic, before averting his gaze slightly. "but let's say it wasn't. Knowing you, you'd still probably get violent either way, right?"

"Give me a single reason why I should... Ah, Kururi," Immediately, Shizuo's attention was thrown off when he _\- finally -_ noticed the younger sibling clinging to the older one. Only then did he realize what had been done. "oh, shit, are you okay? You're not hurt, are you?"

Kururi nodded, a bit fearfully and a bit shyly. "'m okay..."

Izaya swallowed.

"That's good. Sorry you had to see that. I kind of loose sight of my surroundings sometimes, and I thought your brother was up to something." Shizuo sighed, scratching the back of his head, studying her.

"I understand." Kururi told him quietly.

"Last I recall, even if I were using the bathroom, or if Shizu-chan tripped, I'd still be up to something, ne?" Izaya said snidely, recieving a glare from Shizuo.

Izaya was about say something else when Shizuo suddenly gave him a purely intense and suspicious look behind his sunglasses.

There was a moment of awkward silence before the debt collector spoke up, letting their eyes met. "It's not every day that you and your sisters are together, much less that they're seperated, Izaya."

"And?" Izaya scoffed, irriated by the questioning and the unexpected reasonable behaivor.

"Somethin' going on...? Somethin' happen to her?" Shizuo asked, in some concern for Mairu.

"Ah, alas, although I'm almost flattered in her place by your concern, it's really nothing that a monster needs to worry himself wi-" Izaya tried to say before Kururi cut him off.

"...hospital..." she murmured, looking away.

"Wait, she's in the hospital? What happened?" Upon hearing this, Shizuo felt his heart skip a beat, and protective anger rose to the surface. "Did somebody hurt her? Do you know who? I'll take care of them. Don't worry. Just tell me who, Kururi."

He _did_ _kind of care_ for the Orihara siblings - _excluding Izaya_ , of course.

Kururi shook her head a bit.

"It's-"

" _none of your business, Shizu-chan._ " Izaya glared, refusing to let Kururi give Shizuo any more information, as he pulled her back alongside himself. This caused Shizuo to feel rather angry. This was one reason he didn't like Izaya. Though he didn't really like _anything_ about the figure known as "Orihara Izaya".

"Come on, Kururi..." Izaya almost pleaded, tugging at her. Sparing one last glance to Shizuo, Kururi briefly hummed, before doing as asked. However, before entirely leaving, she turned back and smiled softly at Shizuo, saying a "thank you" loud enough for him to hear her. Izaya didn't even bother stopping her.

Shizuo felt a painful warmth enter his chest at that, and was left pondering the situation. _"Should I go after them? It must be a private matter... and pretty serious for_ Izaya _, of all people, to not even bother pressing a fight."_

And so he decided to follow behind.

Little did he know, somebody else had been watching them from a distance. To be more specific, it was Kuronuma Aoba. He had been heading to meet up with Mikado for a certain matter, when he had happened to pass by Shizuo and noticed Izaya and Kururi moments later. He had hid behind a parked car nearby to figure out the situation. The main reason he did was because it was _Izaya_ , of course, and the fact that Mairu had not been seen with Kururi for a while was reasoning enough for questioning _his_ appearance as well.

However, whenever he heard Kururi say that Mairu was in the hospital, he felt a new resolve grow within his heart. He cared for the twins, so this news impacted him.

Understanding this resolve for once in his life, he fetched a phone from one of his pockets and called Ryuugamine Mikado.

 _"Kuronuma-kun?"_ came the Dollars' founder's voice, a bit shyly.

"Yeah, it's me..." Aoba replied a bit hesitantly.

 _"Is something wrong? I'm about to head to where we agreed to meet up at."_ Mikado told him, a sound of shuffling in the background.

"Listen, it may be a little while more, so don't leave. I'm gonna contact the others as well. I'm going to the hospital for something." Aoba explained.

 _"Hospital? Why? Did you get hurt?"_ Mikado asked, in a seemingly worried response. Aoba was actually taken aback by the sound of concern coming from the other end. There were very few people that had ever expressed real concern for him, so he almost felt a pang of guilt for worrying him. However, he quickly pushed those thoughts aside.

"No, but... I think somebody... important to me did."

Aoba liked to think that, unlike Izaya, he himself wasn't the type to actually _try_ to deny that somebody was important to him in the way that a friend should be. It was true that he had distrust for the world, but he openly admitted that much to himself, and he openly admitted to himself that he wasn't proud of the things he had done. He understood when he got punished why he did.

However, there _were_ feelings in himself that he couldn't properly label or analyze because of various factors, physical abuse being a top one, and the fact that his mother had claimed to love him but had only been around half the time; only did so much to protect him from the psychological terror that filled his house growing up and even abuse by his own brother and father him. He didn't trust love, anybody, nor himself and this was a fact he was also honest with himself about. He didn't feed off of it, or do things to simply observe the reactions of people and humanity which he hated. A lot of times, he did what he did for the sole purpose of staying in control(to not reflect on himself), to keep what bonds he had though he often went the wrong way about it, or as a reaction of not being in control, while other times it was simply because he did have nothing to lose, and he wanted to fill up the time. He was a coward, it was true, but he felt that he, once again, at least tried to be honest with himself about not liking that fact. It wasn't like he would say it aloud, but he _did_ want to change; he simply didn't know where or how to start doing so, and in turn had not a single person to turn to or ask for guidance.

 _"...Um okay. I can wait. If you don't mind, may I ask who it is?"_ Mikado asked after a moment.

Aoba considered keeping it to himself, but seeing no real potential danger or threat in doing so, he instead answered. "It's one of Orihara Izaya's younger sisters. I'm not really sure what happened, but I just overheard him and Heiwajima Shizuo talking. Kururi was with Izaya. Truth is, I actually knew that something was up, because his twin sisters are typically always together, or at least not too far apart."

 _"Ah, I see. I think I'll message him. Thank you for letting me know, Kuronuma-kun."_ Mikado said.

"Right. I guess I'll talk to you later, then." Aoba said, not bothering to suggest him not to talk to Izaya.

 _"O-oh! Wait...!"_ Mikado called.

Aoba flinched a bit, his heart suddenly racing as he couldn't help but feel slightly threatened by the loud shout coming from Mikado. But to cover up his reaction he teased Mikado instead. "Mikado-senpai, there's really no need to be so loud~"

 _"S-sorry, I was- I thought-"_

Aoba decided to laugh it off as Mikado just being awkward, but couldn't deny the brief fear at that moment. "No, it's fine. I won't hold that against you. What is it?"

 _"Um... well... If there's ever any time you need to talk, I just want you to know I'm here to listen, Aoba.."_ Mikado said from the other end. In an instant, warmth somehow enveloped Aoba's chest at hearing the offer and Mikado using his first name.

"What's with the sudden change of heart and dropping the honorfic, Senpai? Just a few weeks ago, you stabbed me a pen, you know."

\- _It must have changed just now when he realized I can care for people, or perhaps... he heard about my past from somebody...?_

 _"Well..., I think I've started to warm up to you a bit is all. And I mean, I have been calling you 'Aoba-kun' for a while, so I hope you didn't mind."_

At hearing that from Mikado of all people, Aoba suddenly found himself giving a small smile.

"No, it's fine. Thank you, Senpai..." he mumbled, and immediately, before Mikado could have replied, he hung up.

And there was now an indescribable warmth in his heart at that, but another feeling sat in a moment later.

 _I need to find out about the wellbeing of twins, but first, I'll have to notify the others... First, Neko._

...

"She can come back, I suppose... But if we notice Mairu-san getting stressed, we'll have to ask both of you to leave."

"I understand. Thank you."

After some words with Mairu's assigned doctor and turning off and handing in their phones which they weren't allowed to bring back there - he still had his ways to hide his switchblade - Kururi was finally permitted to go back and see Mairu. Izaya was relieved by this in a sense, but a part of him still knew that Mairu probably wouldn't be coming home for a while, and that fact brought him a sense of anxiety and irritation. He was already regretting calling the ambulance about this when he could have just called Shinra.

Oh well, there was no use regretting things now, he figured, but...

\- _What would happen if our mother and father found out?_

This was the sole question troubling his mind at the moment.

But slightly pushing that aside, he took Kururi's hand and followed the nurse back to the room which Mairu was in. Mairu was sitting on the bed, had just eaten dinner. A plate sat beside her. She looked up, her eyes immediately widening upon seeing Kururi approaching her.

"A-ah, Kuru-nee..., how's it going? Sorry about all of this... I know you're probably really worried or mad at me, but-" Mairu started to say.

Izaya once again began to lose focus of his surroundings.

\- _They would surely question where I was... and all of their respect for me might be gone, even though it's not like they're any better. Really, when the hell were_ they ever _around? Would they really blame me, then? It's hard to say, but they will definitely blame me at least some... Not that I_ don't _blame myself a_ little _bit for this..._

He finally sighed inwardly before gathering his nerves and turned his attention back to what he should be focusing on.

A woman sat outside Mairu's assigned room, watching them, but not saying anything.

Izaya looked up, now observing them from a few feet away, before asking the woman, who was watching, Kururi for a chair. She nodded and said she would ask somebody shortly. He thanked her but said nothing otherwise, somehow not even wanting to know what might happen because of all this, even though he highly suspected what _would_.

Kururi was currently clinging tightly to a taken aback Mairu.

"Kuru...nee?" Mairu swallowed, tears suddenly clinging to her eyelashes, when she realized that her other half was crying. She had to take away the hurt from her. "'m way better now, right here, so don't worry..."

"Never again...," Kururi muttered, her breath slightly hitching. "...can't live without Mairu..."

"Please don't cry, Kuru-nee... What I did was _really_ stupid, and I understand that..." Mairu said softly, still holding back her tears from falling even now, as she reached up, returning the hug. "I should have been more honest with you about my feelings... I'm really sorry... I just didn't want to worry you... I can't stand to see you suffering,... so I started holding my feelings of depression back, and it just kind of exploded on me that day, you know...? I didn't even want to die at first... I just wanted to bleed, but... you know..." Mairu looked away as if she wanted to add more but was ashamed to.

"...what is it?" Kururi mumbled, reaching up to turn her face where she was gazing into her matching auburn eyes, silently pleading for an answer.

"It's..." Mairu swallowed, her heartbeat rapid, as she forcibly looked away again, unable to bring herself to face either her or Izaya.

"...Well... I guess one thing kind of led to another, and Iza-nii's words about how after death your existance disappears came to mind... At the moment, it... um... just sounded like it was the best route to go, you know...? Because what I had found myself wanting at the time being... was for everything to be gone... I'm really sorry, Kuru-nee..." tears finally spilled from Mairu's eyes as she said this.

"Don't be sorry, Mairu..." Kururi reached up wiping away a few of her tears.

Izaya had froze at hearing his brotherly nickname mentioned and Mairu's side of this. This was partially his fault after all then...? He turned away, with an almost pained exression. Yet it was Mairu's choice, so he found himself having some sort of respect for her in the case that she seemed to want to cling to life again.

Even so, suicide attempts and cutting... once it's done once, it can potentially become a reaccuring action, he was aware. And there was also a possibility that Kururi might end up trying something eventually after being exposed to this. He would have to keep a closer eye on her as well.

He refused to say, however, that he was doing this for any other purpose than simply to boost his ego. And besides, he did have some sense of dignity as an older sibling down deep. It wasn't like he had actually fallen for them; they were simply valuable assets that he would prefer not to loose at all costs.

He would surely be hated for it, and he preferred not to be hated. That was all there was to it. Yep. _Nothing else._

 _I refuse to see them as anything more than anybody else._

However, even though he told himself that, while watching them, Izaya found himself becoming a bit jealous of, and irritated by, their intimacy, but easily hid his feelings and bitterness with a fake smile, when somebody walked up to him and offered a chair.

"Thank you very much, Miss..." he said politely, as if to set an impression.

The female nurse before him blushed a little bit, before asking if there was anything else he needed.

"No, that's all, but I'll let you know if I think of anything." Izaya told her, bowing a bit. The woman bowed back, before walking out.

Izaya then looked back over to his younger twin sisters, grabbing the chair and pulling it over next to the bed. Mairu's eyes met his when he sat down, crossing one leg over the other, and leaning his elbow against the surface of the stretcher.

"..." Izaya had no clue what to say, so he brought up the only thing he could think to.

"Alas... many hospitals aren't this kind..., as Kururi probably wouldn't have been able to come back here otherwise..." though he said that, yet again, as he had strangely been finding himself doing lately, his words weren't even meant to be condescending, unlike normal. He was just stating the truth, and it somehow came out a lot easier than he thought it would.

"I really am sorry, Iza-nii..." Mairu mumbled.

"Saying sorry for the past means nothing, you know. This may still cause a lot more problems yet, Mairu." Izaya sighed holding up a hand to dismiss it.

Kururi met his gaze, obviously about to argue back to Izaya's 'lack of consideration', but before she could, he spoke first. "Don't misunderstand. It's good that you're trying, but I'm just saying that _instead_ of focusing your energy on apologizing, you should be working on getting out of here, and promising things for the _future_. Seeing as you don't want to die anymore and all."

\- _Or at least at the moment..._

He thought that, but didn't let it be known.

Mairu immediately turned to face him, more tears in her eyes. "Iza-nii, I... If I do that, can you promise us something as well then?"

"I don't openly make unconditional promises, so it all depends what it is..." Izaya sighed, not at all liking the idea of this.

"Promise that you'll stay with us more..." Mairu said.

"Don't hold back true feelings for the 'love of humanity' anymore..." Kururi then mumbled.

"Promise that you'll put up with us more... we love you no matter how you are... It hurts both of us to see you pushing yourself, Iza-nii." Mairu told him.

"Mn," Kururi confirmed. "can't stand distance..."

Both of them had hurt looks in their eyes, but Izaya didn't understand why they were so insistent on saying such things.

Already knowing of their feelings for him, he sighed, linking his fingers around the back of his head, as he leaned back in the hospital chair, relaxing just like that.

"You girls don't understand me at all and I don't understand you either." He closed his eyes briefly, deep in thought.

"I've said it before, but that's because you're twisted..." Mairu murmured.

"Dishonest." Kururi curtly added.

"Well then explain... Why me?" Izaya finally inquired, gazing away and giving in, earning their full attention. They stayed quiet, letting him elaborate on his question.

"Last I heard, Kururi was interested in Kuronuma Aoba, while you, Mairu, were interested in Yuuhei Hanejima or rather Kasuka Heiwajima, my worst enemy's brother."

"But we love Izanii more than them." Mairu insisted, ignoring the glowering look from the woman watching over her, as Kururi nodded in agreement.

The woman near the door was obviously either disgusted by incest, or she was mad because she didn't have love in her life, or perhaps she was simply having a - very - bad day. Izaya easily assumed the former, but it wasn't his problem.

"You're constantly trying to high kick me, while telling me to go die," he said, almost nonchalantly. "and yet you seem to think I won't die even if I get hit by a truck. You really don't know anything about me at all, Mairu, because I'm only _human_ , not some _superhuman_ like _you_ two seem to think..."

\- _Even though I wish I could be extraordinary like Shizu-chan or even Celty, to be able to live forever... Ah, how great that would be._

"It's okay. We know that,... but we still love you in spite of that... You're our standard of this world, everything we are..." Mairu gave a small smile.

"We only hurt you because we want you to notice us..." Kururi turned around. Izaya almost rose an eyebrow at them, meeting their gazes again.

"Kuru-nee's right," Mairu nodded. "we wanted you to acknowledge us and look at us in some way or another... Yuuhei and Kuronuma-kun together are like you... We both fell in love with them, because they each reminded us of a part of you that we had already fallen for... They were the closest thing we had to you... Although, I do feel kind of bad, now that I realize that, but we are only friends, not like there is anything actually going on between Kuronuma-kun and Kururi..."

Izaya heaved a sigh, not approving of their logic. He couldn't deal with screwing up the twins any more than he already had. He didn't want or deserve to be in such a relationship. It would certainly only be asking for unneeded trouble. "Look, you need to find somebody else... Don't you know? Incest is greatly frowned upon by the majority of the world, so I prefer not to be a part of that if I can help it."

There were, of course loopholes in his words. He was supportive of all actions and sexualities of humans.

"So what about being homosexual, then?" Mairu retorted. "There's people both against and _for_ _that_ _too_ , isn't there?"

"Yes, but I don't want to put myself in the same boat as everybody else." Izaya said simply, glancing off into space. "anyway, I'm not going to judge you or even my secretary for being incestuous, but I just don't _want_ to be so myself, okay?"

"But, see, you already are, Iza-nii. We can tell." Mairu told him, giving a small devious smile.

Izaya mentally cursed. Why couldn't they just leave him alone?

"Incestuous." Kururi nodded in agreement.

"No, I'm _not_." Izaya denied bluntly, once again not wanting to define himself with any sexuality or preferences, as he simply loved all humans equally, even them. "You two girls are simply annoying."

"We're _one_ , Iza-nii." Mairu 'corrected' him.

" _Whatever_." Izaya growled back. He opened his mouth to say more, but his breath caught in his throat and his heart stopped for a second when he glanced over towards the woman watching over the situation.

But it wasn't the woman he was seeing now.

Standing in the doorway was none other than Heiwajima Shizuo.

 _~End of Chapter._

...

 **A/N: I hope you guys liked this... And trust me. This won't be MikadoxAoba/AobaxMikado, unless you guys really wanted it, but I might would also have ErikaxAnri as a pairing in that case(I mean who can't see that Erika totally obviously likes her? XD)**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Story: On the Bright Side, chapter 7**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own Durarara!**_

 _ **Replies to reviews:**_

 _ **To guest: Of course. ^^**_

 _ **To The10creative: I've kind of hinted that I plan to follow through with Oriharacest, but I still plan to keep it a T rating. However there will be a some romance throughout this story. But that's not my biggest focus. I think I'll mostly be focusing on Izaya's internal struggles in 'loving' people, and very much the siblings' problems as well. I hope I don't disappoint you. ^^;**_

 _ **And I agree there isn't much for the Orihara siblings, pairing or otherwise. Even Shizuo and Kasuka together seems to get so much more attention in fanfiction and doujinshi.**_

 _ **To inhiding: Your welcome. I hope you like the story.**_

 _ **...**_

"Shizu-chan..."

Izaya found himself frozen, before irritation took over and he glared at Shizuo. "What are you doing here?"

Shizuo barely restrained from glaring back. "I'm here to see your sisters."

"Well, nobody asked you to come here." Izaya muttered.

"I know. Don't care." Shizuo muttered, walking over, trying his best to ignore Izaya.

Immediately, Izaya instinctively began to reach for his pocket knife, but caught himself. There was nothing good that could come of it, unless of course he provoked him first. But naturally that would make him look like the bad guy in front of his dear humans, which is _not_ something he could risk.

Kururi and Mairu were watching them, observantly, mentally questioning if they would fight. Mairu somehow felt a little irritated at hearing Izaya's hostilily in his voice towards Shizuo, but Kururi, meanwhile, found Izaya's irritation somehow understandable. This was a private matter. It wasn't like she minded Shizuo's company. But this was the worst possible time.

"Mairu, what happened to you?..." Shizuo asked upon seeing the bandages and healing cuts which no longer had bandages. He had a hard time processing what he was seeing. His chest constricted.

Izaya assumed Shizuo had only heard a little bit of their conversation, not all of it. To be frank, it was none of that _monster's_ business though. Nor did he have the right to witness the moment of bonding between him and his sisters, he had no right to witness a moment of humanity from him. Of course, it was troublesome all the same for him to know about the incest too, yet he was secretly appreciative that Shizuo was not the type who would spread rumors, not that he would ever admit it. On the other hand, he still didn't want Shizuo here, because it made him feel sick(jealous) to see Shizuo caring for somebody.

 _Damn him. Next, he'll probably try to go and 'bond' with them. A monster like him doesn't need more 'friends'._

Even though those were his thoughts, he knew that he felt envy for that part of Shizuo. He felt envy for Shizuo's ability to be able to embrace love, despite pulling away from it, and he refused to let his precious humans be won over that easily.

Yet, down deep, he knew.

He knew he was truly inferior to Shizuo in so many ways. He had nothing to give in a relationship, unlike Shizuo, who could truly comfort somebody, and truly _love_ somebody. He knew that Shizuo was a better and more lovable person than himself; that he himself was not worth that love.

The problem with Izaya was that he knew his childish pettiness so well that it was just that much easier to lie to himself, and hate Shizuo for everything(instead of himself).

"I..." Mairu swallowed, not sure what to say to him or rather, how to answer the question.

"Self-harm..." Kururi suddenly mumbled. Shizuo's heart skipped a beat at hearing that, an anger boiling up inside of him. Izaya noticed him clinching his fist, and was reminded of a certain situation where a bar owner had been beaten up to near death by Shizuo for questioning, _"Why do we live?"_.

The informant secretly hoped Shizuo would start shouting and possibly even advance on her, just to prove what kind of unreasonable being he truly was down deep, not that he wanted to see Mairu hurt. It would be best if they would restrain Shizuo and shoot him down or something before that could happen. However, he knew that Shizuo typically wouldn't do such a thing to a child. (Well, Mairu wasn't exactly a child, but still.) And he also knew that Shizuo behaved like a human when he least wanted him to.

"Kuru-nee...!" Mairu unfittingly cried out, before turning her head in shame, expecting to be looked down on by Shizuo. It was a known fact that self-harm and mental illness was greatly looked down upon in Japan. She would no doubt be judged by society for her decision.

"...Oi, Mairu..., can you look at me...?" Shizuo awkwardly spoke in a voice that was unexpectedly soft to the others, even himself. He tried to calm himself down for Mairu. This was Izaya's sister, but it was still somebody that had always harbored admiration for him. Mairu suddenly found herself looking over as Shizuo kneeled down next to her stretcher. Jealousy and irrational envy-backslash-anger enveloped Izaya's heart at seeing Shizuo being able to be so naturally kind, unlike himself, but he decided to, for once, let the 'monster' do what he wanted. After all, Mairu, one of his precious humans, wanted... and _needed_ it.

However, if Shizuo dared get too close, and Kururi and Mairu grew any more attached to him, he would find a way to make him suffer. He truly wished that he could be like Shizuo in that way though, to be able to say just the right thing, to comfort somebody rather than hurt them, if he desired to. He couldn't stand how much Shizuo seemed to take a lot of what he had for granted(but yet he didn't want him to fit in anyway.)

 _I'm such a hypocrite..._

"...Why did you do this to yourself...? You always seem so happy..." Shizuo's voice seemed to waver slightly, as he looked at Mairu, studying the sores and cuts on her arm.

"I... I'm really bad at expressing myself... I was really stressed out, and it just sort of happened... I'm sorry... I can be really really stupid sometimes...haha..." Mairu could only look away at this point, feeling tears whell up in her eyes yet again. She reached over and started to unknowingly scratch at her bandages due to the tension. Kururi was about to stop her, but Shizuo placed a large hand on Mairu's instead, prying, though not to harshly, her fingers away from the bandage wrap, startling her.

"Stop that." Shizuo said, as he held onto her fingers, massaging her knuckles somewhat. "and you're not stupid... Well, we all make mistakes, god knows I do, but it's okay, because you can't always be happy, you know?..."

"Yeah, I know..." In her heart, Mairu wanted to disagree, but she didn't say that aloud. Because she somehow knew he was right, and was just trying to help.

Shizuo smirked slightly. "Mairu, do you think you could do something for me...?"

"Ah, sure... if I can help, what is it?" Mairu questioned.

"If there's ever a time... that you need to talk... You can... ask to talk to me. I might could even get Kasuka to talk to you if he was around..."

 _"She's_ my _sister._ I'll _decide who she talks to...",_ Izaya wanted to growl, but couldn't find it in his heart to do say aloud. Because, again, what the hell could he offer to them anyway? Sure, he was supposedly a good listener, but despite that, how many times had his simple presence ruined somebody else's life even when he didn't try to? How many times had he destroyed himself by getting too involved with people? By getting too close to one person in particular? True love, and even genuine friendship was pointless, logicless, meaningless.

 _Too overwhelming._

Mairu's eyes lit up a bit, as she looked to Shizuo with hope; the hope Izaya wished he could have given her. "You really mean it?"

"Yeah..." Shizuo smiled softly.

Mairu looked away awkwardly. "Well, I'm not very good at opening up and talking about my feelings, though, but I'll try..."

"Hey, that's a start. Don't worry, it's very hard to talk about your emotions sometimes, so I understand. And I'm sure even _Izaya_ does."

"You think Iza-nii does?"

Upon hearing his name mentioned, Izaya felt incomprehensible irritation, and began to speak, began to ask Shizuo to _leave_ , when Shizuo stopped him in his tracks and said:

"Your brother is incredibly stubborn, a total jerk, and he's not a very likable person to be around. He's not a good guy... But I can now tell he does care for you and love you in his own way, even if he doesn't let it show."

"Do you think one day, you two will be able to get along?" Mairu asked, oblivious to the true nature of their absolute hate for each other.

Shizuo looked away, surprised with himself for staying calm at that. "I can't promise anything, but maybe one day."

"Hey, that's a start, right?" Mairu requoted Shizuo words from before, with a smile. Izaya blinked and Shizuo couldn't help but laugh.

"Yeah." Shizuo said.

"I highly doubt Shizu-chan and I could ever get al-" Immediately, Shizuo shoved his palm into Izaya's forehead, pushing him back somewhat. "Let go of me, monster. We'll _try_ , okay?"

"Good." It was true that Shizuo had absolutely despised Izaya before today, but since he had witnessed Izaya actually doing something any older sibling should for his younger siblings, he felt he couldn't hate Izaya as much as he did before,.(that wasn't saying he would ever be on good terms with him though.) Aside from that, they loved him, so he knew killing Izaya right now would be redundant and only cause problems for all of them. He couldn't bring himself to hurt them, as long as he wasn't provoked.

"Shizuo-san... do you think Yuuhei would judge me for what I've done to myself...?" Mairu asked out of no where, a look of guilt in her eyes.

Even if her true heart lied with Izaya, a part of her still greatly admired the famous idol.

Shizuo then reached up and ruffled her long hair, which seemed odd since it had been unbraided, with a small laugh, as he found himself getting up and pulling her into an embrace. "No, he wouldn't. Knowing him,... he may seem expressionless, but he's really a good guy, and is a lot more forgiving than myself. I'll see if I can get him to see you one day, okay?"

"Okay. Thanks, Shizuo-san..." Mairu mumbled, openly returning the embrace. Immediately, Izaya felt like killing Shizuo.

Without thinking Izaya got in between them and pulled both of the twins away from Shizuo into his arms. " _Don't touch her._ "

(A/N: Izaya really needs to chill, but at least he isn't throwing knives, I guess... =w=;)

Mairu and Kururi seemed to be taken aback by their brother's actions, but didn't resist and melted into his arms, smiling at each other for some reason.

The woman at the door was contemplating whether or not to pull everybody out the room. Mairu seemed to be happy, so it couldn't be that bad. On the other hand, she was sure that Mairu had been brainwashed by that freak in the fur jacket. Just something about him rang trouble and she didn't believe for an instant that he cared, or she wouldn't have ended up in the situation she did. She had heard about that man before. But as long as he did nothing to hurt her, there wasn't much she could do. She didn't approve of incest, either, but it's not like that was exactly illegal in Japan, though.

Shizuo had clicked his tongue, glaring at Izaya's actions, before turning to Kururi. "Kururi, take good care of Mairu, okay?"

"...Even though she's troublesome, I think I can handle." Kururi gave a small smile, jokingly.

"Kuru-nee, that's mean! I guess I don't deny it, though... Ha-ha..." Mairu turned away sheepishly.

Kururi smiled, kissing her on the cheek. "It's okay... You're troublesomeness is one thing I love about you."

"Kiss me on the lips then, Kuru-nee... I haven't been kissed in forever by you and I'm dying without it!"

Kururi nodded then, and without a care in the world for her surroundings, kissed Mairu on the lips in front of everybody. Mairu's eyes widened a bit, as if she hadn't expected it. Her face went red, but she closed her eyes, and allowed herself to be kissed.

Shizuo turned away, feeling all too awkward. "I'm gonna leave."

And he did.

 _Good_ , Izaya thought.

Soon, Kururi pulled away, both herself and Mairu catching their breath, a strand of saliva following them.

"Better?"

"Yeah... Your lips are as soft as ever..." Mairu nodded.

Izaya himself, however, had no clue what to say, and felt awkward and somewhat irritated at them for having clung to him while kissing. Not that he could deny down deep that the act was a _little_ intriguing, which was one of the reasons he didn't push them off.

"You're worse than Namie sometimes." He muttered, turning his head away.

"Oh?" Mairu gazed up at him, followed by Kururi, with a mischevious grin.

"Jealous?" Kururi smirked ever so slightly.

"No, I'm not." Izaya denied. "You're right here, anyway, aren't you? I don't need to be jealous."

Mairu looked back at Mairu then. They both smirked _yet again,_ before pulling him down to eye level, and pecking him on either cheek. Izaya's heart skipped a beat and his face heated up at the unexpected actions.

"It's okay to feel jealous over us, Iza-nii... We told you we love you no matter how you are." They whispered in unison to him.

Izaya's pulled back somewhat, but his face was slightly red making his feelings more apparant. "Stop it, both of you. I told you I wasn't jealous. I simply have _dignity_ and much more discretion when it comes to my love for people."

Of course, that was a lie.

And they all knew that.

...

About 10 minutes later, another face showed up.

It was a face that all three of them recognized.

Kuronuma Aoba.

 _End of chapter 7, part 1_

...

 _ **A/N: I got lazy, I'm sorry. I still have yet to finish novel 6(I've read 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 7, 9, and 13 and parts of 11 and 12, so I'm gonna wait a little while to read a little more into Aoba's character. And it seems like Aoba and Izaya are a little more alike than they know lol.( Or maybe they know that too well ;)**_

 ** _What did you think though?_**


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